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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28145478">Coming Down is the Hardest Thing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/pseuds/Highlander_II'>Highlander_II</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Peter Parker, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Endgame compliant until just before Tony takes the stones, Healing, M/M, Peter Parker goes to college, Scars, Slow Burn, Tony Stark is his usual charming self, alternating pov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:15:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>36,480</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28145478</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/pseuds/Highlander_II</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(story inspired by <a href="https://i.pinimg.com/564x/4a/97/e5/4a97e5330c836e3dcacba6fd49b9176e.jpg">this image/post that made the rounds</a>*)</p><p>Peter performs the final snap to eliminate Thanos' army (instead of Tony). He spends more than a year fully recovering from the effects of the radiation from the stones with several bumps in the road along the way. Tony's road is just as rocky as he navigates how to handle what happened alongside feelings he's trying to ignore.</p><p> </p><p>(*if you know who made this or the source location, please let me know; i wasn't able to find it. found the original artwork: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1jaUUso_zv/">here</a>)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>191</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Marvel Big Bang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28192656">[Fanmix &amp; Album Cover] Coming down is the hardest thing</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/feyrelay/pseuds/feyrelay">feyrelay</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Notes: shout out to both of my beta readers - ALeaseInWonderland and feyrelay - they were amazing in helping me get through this monster.</p><p> </p><p>You can find the fanmix with cover art that accompanies the fic <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/marvel_bang_2020/works/28192656">here</a>!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>October 2023</strong>
</p><p>Tony watched in absolute horror as Thanos put the gauntlet on his hand and raised his arm into the air. Pushing to his knees, Tony was ready to pounce and grab the stones, but a blue and red blur streaked past between him and Thanos before he could even get a foot underneath himself.</p><p>Spider-Man landed less than six feet away. Peter's mask rolled down and he looked confused as the stones locked into place on his armor. Tony immediately realized why - the upgrade he'd made so he could pull the stones off the gauntlet would have transferred from FRIDAY to Karen as a back-up.</p><p>Tony’s chest tightened. He saw the moment Peter understood what had happened. And what would come next. Kneeling there in the debris of the fight, Peter lifted his right hand, and stared, not at Thanos, but at Tony. Peter looked disappointed in himself, like he'd let Tony down, as he declared, "I just wanted to be like you."</p><p>"Wait!" Tony cried. Even though Peter'd been bitten by an experimental spider and probably had some radiation resistance, there was no way to know how much. When that radiation went through Peter's body, it was going to be bad.</p><p>Tony leapt forward and grabbed for Peter's free hand but missed. Instead, his hand landed on Peter's thigh. Around him, he felt others scrambling into action. Rhodey grabbed Tony's other hand as Carol, Steve, T'Challa, Wanda, and everyone else he could see in his periphery joined the chain. Tony felt the power from the stones passing through him and the rest of the team.</p><p>Peter looked at him, tears shining in his eyes. Tony nodded. "Do it!"</p><p>Peter snapped his fingers and, as their power surged down the line, the stones did what they were meant to do. Thanos and his army all disappeared in a flurry of dust across the entire battlefield.</p><p>Looking up, Tony saw Peter sink to the ground. He was slow getting to his own feet, but managed to stumble over to Peter's side.</p><p>"Hey, Pete. Come on. Talk to me." He reached out to brush his fingers gently over Peter's hair.</p><p>Peter blinked up at him blearily. "I'm sorry, Tony," he rasped, then his eyes dipped closed.</p><p>"Pete?"</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>"FRIDAY-"</p><p>"Readings unclear," FRIDAY answered.</p><p>"Come on, kid," Tony said and lifted Peter into his arms.</p><p>"Tony -" Rhodey called out.</p><p>"Help me out, Rhodey."</p><p>Seeing his friend's distraught expression and the kid limp in his arms, Rhodey nodded and started rounding up the other Avengers to help tend to the wounded.</p><p>Tony took off toward the demolished compound, FRIDAY directing him to one of the undamaged medical bays. En route, he sent a message to any medical staff to get them mobilized. Maybe Peter's enhanced body could handle more. Maybe his healing factor could fix some of it. But Tony didn't want to take any chances and depend entirely on Peter's super powers.</p><p>He didn't want to have to be the one to tell Peter's aunt that her nephew wasn't coming home. He'd gotten out of having that conversation five years ago because Aunt May had disappeared during The Snap too. This time, he wouldn't be able to skip out if Peter didn't make it.</p><p>There was a lot of movement in the medical bay when Tony arrived. He had FRIDAY fold back Peter's suit so he could take it off. The original suit was still beneath it, the right sleeve burnt and melted against his skin, and a charred path across his chest down to where Tony had touched his leg.</p><p>A nurse decked out in radiation gear stepped up to guide him out of the way. "We've got this, Mr. Stark."</p><p>Tony moved out of the room. He stood watching, helplessly, through the door's small window until he felt someone put a gentle hand on his arm and direct him to the observation window instead. He glanced over to see a nurse wheeling a cart of instruments through the door.</p><p>There was still a lot of motion inside. Tony, however, was solely focused on the kid on the table who might die because of him. This was his fault, right? Because of his choices. Because he'd recruited a teenager to help him fight a stupid fight.</p><p>Because he'd been an idiot.</p><p>And Peter might die.</p><p>He ran his hand over his face, then let his forehead thunk against the window. All of his money and genius and he couldn't fix this.</p><p>A flurry of motion and noise in the room made him lift his head. Something was wrong. He looked through the window and saw Peter thrashing on the table; nurses trying to hold him still.</p><p>Tony put the mask up on his suit to guard against any residual radiation, and went into the room. He stepped up to one side of the bed and pressed a hand to Peter's chest to hold him down - the kid was strong and he needed the armor's power to keep Peter from hurting himself. "You're okay," he said, hoping it was true. "Hey. Shh. Pete -"</p><p>Peter looked up and his eyes focused on Tony's mask. Tony angled the mask to give the impression he was holding Peter's gaze.</p><p>"Mr. Stark?" Peter croaked.</p><p>"Shh. Stay still. You're in the infirmary. It's okay. The doctors are working. But you need to stay still and cooperate, okay?"</p><p>Peter nodded, settling back onto the bed.</p><p>Tony lifted his hand and started to move away. Peter grabbed his wrist and tugged him back. "Don't go."</p><p>Tony's stomach dropped. "I can't stay, kid. I'm in the way." Evidenced by the medical staff reaching to take Peter's arm back so they could redo the IV Peter'd ripped out and continue their work.</p><p>"Please?" Peter pleaded, voice cracking. It was like a physical pain in Tony's chest. What the hell was he supposed to do?</p><p>As though reading his mind, the same nurse who had spoken to him before directed Tony to stand at the head of the bed. He was told he had to be quiet and not interfere.</p><p>The doctors and nurses worked swiftly and diligently. The machines kept beeping with steady rhythm. Tony got a reading from FRIDAY about the radiation levels in the room and determined they were low enough not to affect him. He let the armor retract from his hand before he gently rested it on Peter's head. He was glad no one could see through the mask, his face would give away all the fear and pain.</p><p>
  <em>Hang in there, Pete.</em>
</p><p>Tony stood at the head of the gurney, brushing his fingers through Peter's hair. FRIDAY alerted him on the HUD when the radiation levels were low enough to be negligible, and Tony let the mask roll down. Peter blinked bleary eyes at him a couple times and mouthed 'hi'; Tony gave him a soft smile back.</p><p>When the hustle and bustle in the room was replaced with a sort of hurried confidence, he retracted the rest of the armor back into its housing. He stepped aside as staff moved around Peter's bed, adjusting equipment and preparing to move him to a patient room.</p><p>One of the doctors approached Tony - Draisaitl, he thought his name was - and said, "He'll be asleep for a while. But it looks like he'll recover. Whatever his abilities are, they're doing more than we can."</p><p>"Thank you, doctor," Tony said.</p><p>"You should have someone take a look at your injuries too, Mr. Stark," the doctor suggested, pointedly looking at the reddened areas on Tony's forearms and the cut on his forehead.</p><p>"I'll be fine," he insisted almost absently, his focus still on Peter.</p><p>"Mr. Stark, if you truly want to help him," Draisaitl nodded toward Peter being wheeled out of the room, "we need to help you too. You can come right back once we patch you up."</p><p>Reluctantly, Tony left Peter's side. He went through a decon shower, was examined head-to-toe, treated, and bandaged up. He was even given pain medication to take before he left the exam room to go sit with Peter again.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>"How is he?" Pepper asked as she slipped into the room to bring Tony coffee and a sandwich.</p><p>Tony shrugged. "The doctors say he should be fine. Waiting game, I guess."</p><p>Pepper put a hand on Tony's arm. "I'm sure he'll be okay."</p><p>He nodded. "I hope so." He held up the sandwich. "Thanks."</p><p>"Sure." She perched on the arm of the chair and rubbed her hand across his shoulders. "How are you holding up?"</p><p>"You know me," he told her and sipped his coffee.</p><p>"I do. That's why I'm asking." She brushed her fingers over his messy hair. "Tony," she waited until he looked up at her, "are you okay?"</p><p>In response, he leaned his head against her shoulder. He wasn't okay. He wouldn't be until Peter was.</p><p>It hurt. It hurt seeing Peter laying there. The kid had swooped in and done something stupid. It was just what Tony would have done. What he had been planning to do. Hell, it was what he <em>had</em> done. So many times.</p><p>Fuck, he was an idiot.</p><p>He had no idea what prompted him to grab at Peter's hand. Maybe he'd subconsciously remembered the report from Quill and his gang about joining together to hold the Power stone. Whatever it was, it seemed to have done something to help.</p><p>He was still an idiot. He'd have to be better at guiding the kid. Make him do a little more looking before leaping.</p><p>
  <em>Shit. Don't be like me, Pete.</em>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Once Tony knew Peter was going to be okay, he sent a car to pick May up. Technically, he'd sent Happy. Tony's hands were sweating while he waited. He could feel his heart in his throat.</p><p>None of that abated when he saw May Parker step into the hallway, flustered and slightly panicked. He wanted the floor to swallow him. Tony Stark, genius extraordinaire, able to crush buildings and solve the world's problems, was terrified of a woman inches shorter than him and pounds smaller.</p><p>"Mr. Stark? What's going on? Is Peter all right?" May asked, voice laced with concern. He could see she was distraught. Under similar circumstances, he would have been too.</p><p>Tony took a breath and steeled himself. "He's okay. He's in the infirmary," he said as confidently as he could manage.</p><p>May put a hand to her mouth, hiding a gasp. Her voice was a little shaky when she asked, "What happened?"</p><p>"He - he was wounded during the big alien fight." That was a really mild way of describing what had happened. He wanted to punch himself for how stupid that sounded coming out of his mouth.</p><p>Her whole demeanor changed then. "Mr. Stark, what the hell is going on?" she snapped, body rigid and eyes narrowed.</p><p>Tony rubbed his forehead. He motioned to a nearby seating area. "So, you know you and he and a bunch of other people have been gone for five years?"</p><p> May narrowed her eyes again. "What are you talking about?"</p><p>Right, they'd just undone all of that. People were probably still disoriented from popping back into existence. He gave May a brief summary of the original Snap and what happened.</p><p>"Okay," May said, though she didn't seem to fully understand what he was telling her. "But that still doesn't tell me what happened to Peter."</p><p>Tony explained what they did to bring everyone back. And how Thanos and his army came through time after them, then attacked the compound. He glossed over most of the battle until the end, where he laid out how heroic Peter had been, jumping in to take the lead and destroy Thanos' army. Including the part about all of the Avengers banding together to help dissipate as much of the radiation as possible - which had probably saved Peter's life.</p><p>"Can I see him?" she asked. She was trying to be stoic, but her face told Tony she was clearly scared out of her mind.</p><p>"Yes, of course." He rose from his seat, waited for her, then escorted her to the room where Peter was resting. "Stay as long as you like," he offered, pushing the door open to let her in. "Happy will be right outside if you need anything."</p><p>"Thank you, Mr. Stark."</p><p>He nodded to her and let the door close. He rubbed a hand over his forehead. A twinge of pain in his shoulder made him wince and grunt.</p><p>From down the hall a little ways, he heard Happy ask, "Tony?" in a way that conveyed a lot more than just his name.</p><p>Tony moved his hand from his face. "I'm good, Happy. Help Ms. Parker with anything. And call me if you need me."</p><p>Happy nodded. "You got it."</p><p>Tony walked down the hall and rounded the corner. Leaning against the wall, he rubbed at the ache in his shoulder. He must have pulled something during the fight that he hadn't noticed until now. <em>Wouldn't be the first time.</em></p><p>He slipped into a treatment room and snagged himself an ice pack and an ACE bandage to wrap his shoulder. It took him several minutes, but he managed it. Slumping back onto the stool, he just sat for a moment. He propped his elbow on the counter and leaned his head into his hand.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Tony lifted his head and pressed his fingers against his eyes. There was a hand on his good shoulder, giving him a light shake. He squeezed his eyes shut a second. "Hey. I'm awake."</p><p>"Maybe you shouldn't be. When's the last time you got any real sleep, Tony?" Rhodey asked him.</p><p>He waved at himself and the counter. "Now."</p><p>The look Rhodey gave him could've peeled paint. "That wasn't sleep. Go to bed."</p><p>"I can't."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Too much to do."</p><p>"Too much that can't wait until you get some sleep and can focus?" Rhodey frowned at him, then unwound the bandage over the ice pack and re-wrapped it so it would stay and not shift around when he moved. "Go to bed." He once again rested a hand on Tony's good shoulder.</p><p>Tony reached up to grip Rhodey's wrist in thanks for fixing the bandage. Rhodey gave him a nod and patted his shoulder.</p><p>"Go on. I'll make sure FRIDAY alerts you if anything changes. Promise."</p><p>With a heavy sigh and a slight nod, Tony got to his feet and left the room. Maybe Rhodey was right. He usually was.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>A few days later, Tony was back sitting with Peter. He shifted in the chair and watched as Peter lay sleeping. They'd been talking about Tony's latest repulsor modification when Peter had nodded off mid-sentence. Tony had gotten used to that happening over the last week or so. Anyone else, it would've annoyed the hell out of him, but not Peter.</p><p>Peter was usually only asleep for about half an hour, then he'd wake up and pick-up almost where he'd left off. It was kind of cute. Peter's mind was always working. Tony was pretty impressed - and maybe a little jealous. His own thoughts were always sort of all over the place.</p><p>Tony looked up when he heard the door open. He waved for May to come in. She looked tired, but in good spirits. He liked that. He knew Peter would too - it would mean he didn't have to worry as much about her.</p><p>"How's he doing?" she whispered.</p><p>"Sleeping again. Doctor said they'll probably have him getting up to walk around in a couple days. See how his leg's doing."</p><p>May nodded. "They told me that too." She crossed to the bed and brushed a hand over Peter's hair. "You know, I still don't really understand what happened to us. And that 'five years' thing."</p><p>Tony pressed his lips together. "Yeah. I could probably explain it better, but I'd need a white board, a dozen colored markers, and at least a week." And that's if he didn't get tied up in all of the high-level physics.</p><p>May grinned a bit. "What's the short answer?"</p><p>"Magic rocks," he said simply, elbows resting on his knees. It was true - way over-simplified, but true. "May, if there's anything you need - at all - let me know."</p><p>"Thank you," she said, smiling softly. "The help with the apartment is more than enough. And I found a job, so we'll be fine once he comes home."</p><p>Tony nodded. "Sure." He wanted to help - any way he could. Since he didn't have a way to undo everything and put Peter back together <em>and</em> save the world.</p><p>He watched May sit next to her nephew, so worried for him. He knew that feeling; he was worried, too. He hoped he hadn't ruined this kid's life. As it was, Peter would be in the infirmary for a while longer - until his body healed enough that leaving wouldn't pose any real danger. Then there'd be physical therapy and probably some sessions with a psychologist. Tony had Fury working on vetting a few for the team.</p><p>Tony got up from the chair, paused to rest a hand, gently, on Peter's head, "Night, kid," he said softly and started for the door. He'd let May have some time with Peter.</p><p>"You don't have to go," May said softly.</p><p>"Thanks. I'm going to go try to get some sleep. Good night, May." Then he left the room, closing the door gently behind him.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Sleep.</p><p>He'd managed a little.</p><p>Not as much as he needed, but that was fairly common. When he couldn't sleep, he holed up in the workshop, usually until someone dragged him out for food or Avengers work. That, or the few unsuccessful attempts Pepper made to get him to go back to bed.</p><p>Steve had decided he was going to take the stones all back to their rightful timelines - Thor's hammer too. Tony had no objections. He'd fixed the time machine, and Bruce had handled the rest.</p><p>A few weeks later, he was over in the infirmary wing, first to check on the section that had needed some reconstruction work, then to stop by Peter's room. May was sitting with him when Tony got there, so he chose wait outside, taking a seat in a chair next to Happy instead.</p><p>"You can go in. She's been here for a couple hours," Happy said.</p><p>Tony shook his head. "I'll wait. Anything new?"</p><p>"He's walking better. His balance is really good, but his muscles have trouble keeping up is how he described it."</p><p>That made Tony smile to himself. Peter was trying to figure his injuries and recovery out through science and logic. Tony would've just bulldozed through whatever, likely making things worse for himself and setting his recovery back by weeks. Apparently Peter had better impulse control.</p><p>"Has the new therapist been in to see him?"</p><p>Happy nodded. "Yeah. Came down yesterday. I think he likes this one."</p><p>"Good." He glanced at Happy, giving the man's face a curious look. "You really grew a beard during this thing?"</p><p>Happy glared at Tony. "You're just now bringing it up?"</p><p>Tony shrugged. "Had a lot on my plate. 'Harass Hogan about goatee' was down on the list."</p><p>"I'm not shaving it," he said, giving Tony a look of mock-hurt.</p><p>Tony laughed. "Didn't say you had to."</p><p>May stepped out of Peter's room and made sure the door closed softly. She looked at Happy and Tony. "He's sleeping now."</p><p>Tony nodded. "I can come back later."</p><p>"Can I talk to you a minute?" May asked him and motioned down the hall.</p><p>Tony levered himself from his chair to walk with her.</p><p>"Mr. Stark, I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for us. But, I think it would be best for everyone if, once he comes home, you don't interact with him anymore. I'm worried about him. His safety. He's sixteen going on seventeen and shouldn't be having to make all of these decisions on his own."</p><p>His brow furrowed slightly. "You realize he's part of an Avenger team and will be needed for some of what we do." It was a statement more than a question; he knew she was aware of it.</p><p>"Yes," she admitted quietly, "I also realize that you are a smart man. I'm certain you can come up with something that will limit his involvement until he graduates high school and can make these big decisions for himself." Sharp, firm, fearless. A lioness protecting her cub.</p><p>"I'll… see what I can do," Tony said, removing his glasses to avoid her gaze, looking anywhere but at May. "When I brought him into all of this, I didn’t have much of a choice. Under normal circumstances – whatever those are for people like us – believe me, I would have waited until he was older." He slipped his glasses back onto his nose and gave her a long look. "You know he won’t like us making a choice like that for him."</p><p>May smiled sadly. "I do know that. Which is why I trust you will keep this between us."</p><p>Tony gave her a sharp nod, watching her move back down the hall until she disappeared into Peter’s room.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>March 2024</strong>
</p><p>Tony spent a lot of the rest of Peter's nearly three-month recovery in the workshop. When he took a break from tinkering around, he'd stop in to Peter's room from time to time just to say 'hi' and check on him, but he never stayed as long as he wanted, or that Peter probably would have preferred. It sucked, because Tony missed him and his inquisitive mind and desire to soak up knowledge. But he didn't want Peter to get too attached if Tony was going to have to cut contact anyway.</p><p>By the time Peter was released, Tony had fourteen new suit designs. By the time spring break rolled around, he had five more and several good upgrades for War Machine as well.</p><p>Tony had his head buried in a car engine the day Peter stopped in at the workshop. He was relieved to see the kid was doing well, but he also needed to find a way to convince him to leave.</p><p>"Busy, kid," he said gruffly. When he turned enough to see the wounded puppy look on Peter's face, his heart broke. He didn't want to do this. He didn't. But May had been right; it was for Peter's own good, even if Tony hated himself for doing it.</p><p>"You're always busy," Peter said, failing to hide the hurt in his voice.</p><p>"Look, I got a lot going on and an appointment in a couple hours and I'm going to need a shower to get all this grime off. So, yeah, busy." He bit his lip, then guiltily added, "Sorry." It wasn't enough, but it was something.</p><p>Peter was silent for a moment, Tony could tell he was thinking. "Um - is… is there a b-better time I could come by? I - I wanna repair my suit and craft more web fluid. I - um - I've got a cool upgrade idea I want to try out."</p><p>The kid sounded so genuinely excited, if nervous. So determined. It was killing Tony to do this to him. "Dunno, Pete. Check in with Happy. He'll let you know when's a good time." His chest was so tight he almost couldn't breathe.</p><p>When he heard the shaky breath, the one he knew Peter was trying to hide, he almost dropped his damned socket wrench into the engine. Hell, Tony almost threw the thing down to go scoop the kid in his arms. Tell him it wasn't his fault and it would all be okay.</p><p>"S-sure, Mr. Stark. Thanks," Peter said before turning and leaving the workshop slowly. That made Tony wince, seeing Peter in pain and not in peak condition.</p><p>Tony dropped his face into his hands. Fuck - he wanted to help. He wanted to be there for Peter like he'd planned all along. He wanted to teach him. And watch him build stuff, develop his skills. There had been <em>plans</em>, dammit.</p><p>He didn't even realize he'd thrown the wrench until he heard the loud clatter and glass shattering. He went to his stash cabinet and pulled out a three-quarters full bottle of scotch.</p><p>For a long moment, he stared at the bottle in his hand, pondering its contents like they held all the answers. Maybe they did.</p><p>This was a bad idea.</p><p>He knew it even as he opened the bottle. He knew it even as he took that first pull.</p><p>The liquid was warm and smooth across his tongue, and old memories of the soothing properties came rushing back to him. This was why he drank from glasses with ice now, it didn't invoke the same feelings. It didn't push him to just take one more sip so everything would be okay. It didn't let him hide his fear and his guilt behind a wall of darkness.</p><p>Tony dropped back onto his stool and took another drink. He never should have brought Peter into all of this. Never should have let him stay on that ship. Never should have let him be in that fight. Then they wouldn't be here - with Peter recovering and Tony feeling responsible for it.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>When he woke up, Tony had drool drying at his mouth and a monster of a headache. He was laying on the floor, an empty bottle near his hand. Yeah, he'd had a <em>great</em> night.</p><p>He tried to move his head without making it throb. No such luck. Especially not when he spotted the black heels near his nose. He tipped his eyes up to confirm. "Hey, Pep-"</p><p>"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked him, voice not as harsh as he was expecting.</p><p>"Bad night," he said as though that answered everything. It did as far as he was concerned. He'd spent half of it trying to figure out a way to bend May's rules without getting Peter in trouble and the other half berating himself, both for fucking up so spectacularly and for contemplating daring to risk doing so again.</p><p>Pepper knelt down to get closer to his level. "That's not what I meant. Why are you drinking, Tony?" she asked gently.</p><p>"I'm fine," he said as he slowly pushed himself into a seated position. His head still hurt. He was not fine at all. Even without the hangover.</p><p>"No. You're not." She knew him so well. Her voice softened even more. "This isn't like you." He couldn't tell if she was more concerned or hurt. Both were likely - concerned about him in general and hurt that he had shoved his head in a bottle rather than talking to her.</p><p>She wasn't wrong. It had been a long time since his drinking was a problem. He didn't say anything.</p><p>"If you don't want to talk to me about it, please, at least, talk to the therapist. I'm worried about you." Her warm, slender fingers reached to brush over his hair. He wanted to lean into it. Lean into her. Let her take over everything. But he couldn't do that. It would be way too much for her and, for him, it would work for about an hour before it annoyed the hell out of him.</p><p>Tony nodded. "Yeah. Next time I'm in. I'm sorry, Pep."</p><p>She helped him get to his feet. "What you are is in need of a shower. So, march upstairs and clean up. There's an Avengers briefing with Fury in an hour."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>February 2024</strong>
</p><p>May had found Peter some extra pillows and brought those in for his bed at home. While it didn’t necessarily ease the lingering pain, it helped him sit propped up a bit. Who knew channeling mystical radiation to save the world could hurt that much?</p><p>"You need anything?" May asked.</p><p>Peter shook his head. "No. I'm good." He had juice and crackers, a couple books, and, lucky him, make-up homework. "Um, but has Mr. Stark asked to visit?" Peter hadn't seen him in a while and it'd be nice to have a chance to catch up again.</p><p>"He hasn't, honey." She turned on the bedside lamp and sat on the edge of his bed. "And, I really don't think you should be hanging out with him."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"It's not safe."</p><p>Peter's mouth dropped open in shock. "Iron Man isn't safe?" How could May even imply something like that? Iron Man had saved the world. Iron Man had saved <em>Peter</em>. How could he not be safe?</p><p>May shook her head and held his gaze. "Not when he takes you to other planets to fight aliens."</p><p>Peter frowned. "That was my fault," he grumbled, looking away and picking at the blanket. "I climbed back on the ship after he tried to send me home."</p><p>"And why did you do that?" she asked, adjusting the blanket over him and handing him his glass of juice.</p><p>"I wanted to help. I <em>was</em> helping." He took the glass and just held it.</p><p>"Peter, he isn't a good influence on you. He's made you reckless."</p><p>"That wasn't him," he muttered. Maybe it was a little. Peter did sort of model himself after Iron Man. "I'm an Avenger." Which he still couldn't quite believe - even if it had been by way of necessity at the time. "I'll have to be around them all sometimes."</p><p>May shifted on the bed. "Peter, I know you want to be part of the team and to help, but it's dangerous. You almost died. And it would be different if you were making all of these decisions on your own. But you're not. You're doing these things to impress your heroes..."</p><p>"I'm doing these things because I have the ability to do more than regular people. I'm not the same as everyone else. I should be helping," he said, feeling more weary than he had a moment ago.</p><p>"Of course you should. But I think it would be better if you helped people here in the city. Stay close to home," she said, her voice gentle, but concerned. "Now, get some rest." She stood up and kissed his head before she left the room, turning out the overhead light and closing the door.</p><p>He was tired, but his mind was still racing. And with the weird PTSD-related dreams that hadn't gone away yet, he wasn't going to be able to get any sleep at the moment. So, he set the glass back on the nightstand and picked up his phone to text Mr. Stark:</p><p><em>hey - wanted to know if you had some time to come visit?</em> Then Peter anxiously waited to see if he would even get a response.</p><p>He did: [maybe. gotta check my calendar.]</p><p>Peter's eyes widened at the message on his phone. Wow. Cool. <em>okay. just let me know so i can tell aunt m</em></p><p>[sure. sorry. gotta go.]</p><p>That, at least, made him feel a little better. He opened one of the non-school books and started reading. Ten minutes later, he was asleep.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Peter's daily routine at home wasn't much different from when he was in the infirmary - walking around to strengthen his leg and help with his general endurance, meals, some homework, and lots of rest. There was a little variation on therapy days. He did his therapy at the Avengers compound because of his spider-powers. So, Happy, usually, would come pick him up; he'd do his physical therapy, then have his session with the psychologist, then either Happy would drive him home or May would come get him.</p><p>Every time he went, he hoped he'd see Mr. Stark. Even just long enough to say 'hi'. But he never did. He had gone up to the workshop the one day he'd had to wait over an hour for May - and that had gone brilliantly. He didn't try that again. It hurt too much, and he was already dealing with enough pain.</p><p>But then, suddenly, one day, Mr. Stark showed up at one of his PT sessions.</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>April 2024</strong>
</p><p>Today, Peter's physical therapist, Jen, was focused on the range of motion in his right arm and shoulder. She had just finished working out the knots in his muscles and was moving his arm around. He winced and hissed when pain shot up his arm. But he kept going - he wanted his body to work right again. He missed being Spider-Man and swinging around the city. He missed the feeling of almost flying as he moved between buildings.</p><p>"Hey, Pete!" Mr. Stark chirped from the elevator. He walked over, face buried in his phone, but looked up long enough to nudge Peter's good shoulder. "How're you doing?"</p><p>Peter frowned at Mr. Stark, curious. The chipperness sounded off, not entirely natural. The last time he'd been in a room with the man, he'd been distant and mostly brushing Peter off. Now he was trying to act like everything was fine?</p><p>"Fu-ow!" Peter squeaked in surprise when his therapist moved his arm just slightly out of range. "Sorry." He looked immediately sheepish and caught the knowing glance from Mr. Stark. He'd stopped himself, barely, from actually swearing.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Peter. Let me know when it starts to get painful," his therapist said. Peter liked her; she was tall like Captain Rogers, with her sandy hair pulled back in a tail, and she had an attitude that managed to command authority while also being soft and gentle.</p><p>He winced again. That one had been his fault. Mr. Stark being in the room was distracting. "Oh - there. Ow."</p><p>"Mr. Stark, can you hold his arm here for me please?" the therapist asked.</p><p>"Sure." Mr. Stark tucked his phone away and slid his hands along the underside of Peter's out-stretched arm.</p><p>Peter shivered when Mr. Stark's fingers brushed his skin. That contact warmed his insides in a way he hadn't expected. A little ball of fire seemed to settle in his belly. He liked it, a lot, but he kind of wished he didn't. If Mr. Stark didn't want to be around him, he'd rather not have reactions like that to him. At the same time, he wanted more of it. Just the thought made his cheeks flush.</p><p>He turned his head to watch Mr. Stark standing there, his rough, calloused hands keeping Peter's arm in place. He licked his lips and tried to keep his focus from drifting to Mr. Stark's face.</p><p>"Um, Mr. Stark, can you lower your hands a little? My shoulder isn't liking this angle," he asked quietly, glad to have something new to occupy his thoughts.</p><p>"You bet." Mr. Stark eased his arm down some. "Better?"</p><p>Peter nodded. "Yeah, thanks."</p><p>Jen came back over with a device he'd seen her use before. At the moment, he couldn't remember what it was called, but it used percussion to work the tissue and when she used it on his shoulder, it felt like it was rattling his teeth. She pressed it against his shoulder and activated it. Then she had Mr. Stark let his arm down so she could work on a different section.</p><p>He kept wanting Mr. Stark to talk to him. He would've started a conversation himself, but he didn't know what to talk about. Which was kind of weird; he could typically talk about anything. But Mr. Stark wasn't really saying much. If he hadn't come to talk, why was he there?</p><p>Peter was suddenly too nervous to ask. Instead, he'd just enjoy having Mr. Stark there in the room for as long as he chose to stay.</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>May 2024</strong>
</p><p>"What's got you so grouchy?" MJ asked Peter, leaning over to examine his homework and point out an error.</p><p>He frowned. "You looming, at the moment." But he knew that wasn't really it. He'd been an absolute bear the last few days. His leg hurt. His arm hurt. And when his arm didn't hurt, it was having spasms and ruining half of his homework with stray marks. He'd taken to doing all of his homework in pencil so he could at least try to erase some of it.</p><p>"Okay, but you were grouchy before that. And Ned told me you snapped at Flash in fluent Spanish."</p><p>"He's still pissed about that because he hasn't figured out what I said."</p><p>"Not the point. Seriously, what's eating you, Peter? This isn't like you. It's weird."</p><p>Peter blinked, sighed, and glowered at the same time. "Maybe I'm just weird now. I was in an accident after we came back in the blip thing. It messed up my arm and my leg. And it messed with my memory a little. I think I'm entitled to be a little weird. And grumpy. And pissed off, don't you think?"</p><p>MJ sat back in her chair, clearly taken aback by his outburst. "Okay. Yeah. I know about the accident and stuff," she said. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was that bad. Wow. You could've told me, you know."</p><p>Sheepishly, Peter answered, "Yeah. Sorry." Another sigh. "It sucks. I have a whole day every week blocked out for medical stuff. As cool as it might sound to miss a day of school every week - let me tell you, it's not. I don't get out of doing the work. All the assignments are still due when they're due." He'd had his share of people telling him how lucky he was. He would much rather have no pain and go to school all week.</p><p>"Hey," MJ leaned forward again and squeezed his arm, "it's okay. I mean, that you're angry and hurt. I'm sorry I pissed you off. And if you need help with anything, I'm here."</p><p>Peter sighed again, more resigned this time. "Thanks." He gave her a little bit of a smile, tired, but a smile. "You didn't piss me off. You just pinged a fragile nerve." And reminded him that someone he'd hoped would be there for him through all of this crap… wasn't.</p><p>He'd reached the point where he wasn't even sure he wanted to go over for the Spider-Man suit-fitting that he'd arranged. If he didn't need to replace the damned thing, he probably wouldn't be going.</p><p>
  <em>Note to self: figure out how to make my own damned suits. Screw Stark's AI.</em>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Talking with MJ had been good for Peter. He was in better spirits when the day of the fitting rolled around. He even managed to put on something other than sweatpants this morning. In his opinion, he looked really good. He was still moving slowly and a little stiffly, but at least he looked more like himself.</p><p>Of course, Mr. Stark was closed-off and distant again and didn't seem to even notice, so that sort of killed his mood. Peter had tried to banter and joke. Then he'd just tried to talk to him. Mr. Stark had hardly said a word in response. He gave a few instructions and asked a couple questions, and that was it.</p><p>Peter was nervous again, except this time it didn't feel the same. This felt bad-weird, so, he gave up trying to engage and be friendly, and answered all of Mr. Stark's questions just as flat and as cold as Mr. Stark asked them. It was super uncomfortable and made the whole session feel like it was taking forever. At that point, he just wanted to be done and go home.</p><p>Back home, Peter went to his room and tried to figure out why this time was so different from the PT visit. He missed the banter and the jokes. He missed Mr. Stark's smile. He missed the warmth that used to be there.</p><p>There had been plans for him and Mr. Stark to meet up for some workshop time in order to make some upgrades to his suit. But that had been before he went away for five years. Maybe something had changed? Maybe Mr. Stark forgot.</p><p>Peter sat in the middle of his bed, rubbing at his left leg. It had been bothering him, but he'd ignored it earlier so he could get through the fitting. Now he realized he may have pushed a little too hard. Getting up and balancing on his right foot, he hopped and winced to get his jeans off so he could crawl back into his comfy sweats. Next time he wouldn't waste all of his energy on something that wouldn't get noticed.</p><p>When Aunt May came in to get him for dinner, she sat next to him on the bed, having seen him digging the heel of his hand into his thigh. She rubbed a hand over his hair. "Hey, Peter. What's wrong?"</p><p>"Nothing. My leg hurts is all. I'll be fine." He sighed and pushed on a pressure point in his leg.</p><p>"Okay. But, are you sure that's all?"</p><p>"I think Mr. Stark hates me."</p><p>"Oh, honey, no. I'm sure he doesn't hate you."</p><p>He sniffed. "Pretty sure he does. We used to talk about cool science and tech when I went to update my suit. But he ignores me now."</p><p>May rubbed her hand up and down his back. "I'm sorry, honey. You know he's probably really busy."</p><p>"Yeah, maybe." He just felt like he'd done something wrong. "Do - do you think he forgot about me while I was gone?" That would hurt the most.</p><p>May shook her head and brushed a hand over his hair again. "I don't think he forgot you."</p><p>That helped a little. He missed Mr. Stark, and, right now, he kind of needed him. Most people didn't understand what he was going through. Most people didn't know he was Spider-Man. Mr. Stark knew both those things. Peter needed that.</p><p>"Sweetie, you don't need Mr. Stark." She kissed his head. "You're perfect just the way you are. You're strong and you'll get through this just fine. Come have dinner."</p><p>"I'm not really hungry. Thanks."</p><p>May got up from the bed. "Stuff'll be in the fridge for later."</p><p>He rubbed a hand over his face. He couldn't take not knowing. Once May was out of the room, he picked up his phone and texted Mr. Stark. It took him a while because now his right arm didn't want to cooperate.</p><p>
  <em>thought we were friends, Mr. Stark</em>
</p><p>[thought you called me Tony]</p><p>Peter frowned. He couldn't remember having ever done that. <em>i might if we were friends</em></p><p>[we are friends]</p><p>
  <em>u don't act like it</em>
</p><p>[been busy, kid]</p><p>
  <em>i know. always busy when I'm around</em>
</p><p>[coincidence]</p><p><em>bullshit. you're avoiding me. why?</em> Just asking this made his guts twist. What if Mr. Stark told him there really was a reason?</p><p>[May know you talk like that?]</p><p>
  <em>yes. not an answer</em>
</p><p>[not avoiding you]</p><p><em>then why don't you come visit me?</em> He'd asked back when he'd first come home, but Mr. Stark hadn't visited him once. He hadn't asked again, because he did think Mr. Stark was busy - with family and Avengers stuff and his other work. But he was starting to think there was something else.</p><p>[busy. Sorry, kid. gotta go]</p><p>
  <em>=(</em>
</p><p>The replies ended there. Still, that was the longest conversation he'd had with Mr. Stark in a while.</p><p>Peter just wished he knew what he'd done wrong.</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>June 2024</strong>
</p><p>Peter stood in front of the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. He'd just gotten out of the shower and was studying the scars on his skin. His right arm bore the worst of it - damaged skin from his fingers all the way to his neck. Long sleeved shirts covered most of it. A little of the neck scarring showed if he wore t-shirts. Right above his armpit was the redirect that had the scarring slash across his chest in a lightning bolt-like diagonal to his left hip. The last bit chased down his thigh to where Mr. Stark had made contact to redirect the energy from the stones. The end of the scar on that side splintered out to draw little tributaries that ended where each of Mr. Stark's fingers had been.</p><p>He reached to trace his unscarred left hand over those little 'finger' scars, remembering. His chest grew tight at the memory of Mr. Stark diving toward him and that hand landing on his thigh. Where would he be if Mr. Stark hadn't done that? If the others hadn't joined in?</p><p>He blinked and looked up, taking in the full measure of scars. Really, he didn't mind them most of the time. They weren't his first. Definitely wouldn't be his last. And, he was pretty sure, with his enhanced healing, they'd be gone entirely in a few years. They were already better than they had been back in January.</p><p>That made him a little sad. Sure, the scars were a visible and tactile reminder of his injury. But they were also a visible and tactile reminder of his heroism and bravery.</p><p>He brushed the fingers of his right hand across the marks in the middle of his chest. Then he closed his eyes and tried to imagine what the scars Mr. Stark got looked like. He'd seen the ones on Mr. Stark's forearms back when he was still in the infirmary. But how had that power traveled through Mr. Stark to Colonel Rhodes? Across his shoulders? Over his chest like Peter's? He wanted to know. He wanted to study. He wanted to feel Mr. Stark's scars beneath his fingers.</p><p>The knock at the bathroom door startled him out of his daydream. Damned spider sense not alerting him to non-threatening surprise aunts knocking on doors. It was horribly inefficient that way.</p><p>"Almost done," he called.</p><p>"Dinner's getting cold," May said.</p><p>Peter sighed, toweled himself off, then tugged on his clothes. He could move a little better now, but anything much rougher than soft cotton tended to irritate the scars on his leg, so he mostly still lived in sweatpants.</p><p>Out in the kitchen, May had put out plates on either side of the pizza box. Peter smiled a little and sat down. The sauce and the cheese smelled heavenly. Which was a change. Two weeks ago he wanted nothing to do with pizza. His body was so weird right now.</p><p>May sat across from him and tugged out a slice from the box. "How's therapy going?"</p><p>Peter shrugged. "It's good. Jen says my shoulder's almost back to full range."</p><p>"That's good. And you're keeping up with your homework, right?"</p><p>He nodded around a bit of pizza. "Yes, May," he mock-whined as he lifted his own slice back to his mouth. "Mmmm - can you give me a ride to school tomorrow? I have to carry half my books in and the extra weight irks my leg."</p><p>"Sure, honey. Want me to pick you up too?"</p><p>"I wouldn't say no if you want to." He'd take the train if picking him up meant it would make things difficult for May.</p><p>But May didn't offer any indication that it would be a problem, so Peter jiggled his good leg under the dinner table, looking forward to a day with comfortable rides to and from school, and the imprint of Mr. Stark's touch still marking him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>March - April 2024</strong>
</p><p>Tony sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands, chest tight, heart pounding. He was not a fan of the new recurring dream he'd been having. This was the fourth or fifth time it had hit him.</p><p>In the dream, the fight against Thanos happens, but the Avengers don't fare as well as they had in reality. He looks around to see so many more fallen. Peter still gets the stones, still snaps Thanos and his army away, but Tony isn't fast enough. He doesn't get there in time to save Peter. Or, the variation where he does get there in time, but the power from the stones is stronger than they thought and even Peter's enhanced body and healing abilities aren't enough. Either way, Peter always dies.</p><p>Fighting back thoughts of the dream, Tony’s shoulders tensed when Pepper rested a hand on his back. "Tony? Come back to bed," she whispered, voice still rough with sleep.</p><p>"I can't," he said. He took several deep breaths and rubbed his hands over his face.</p><p>Pepper sat up behind him and slid her hand over his shoulder. "Hey, it's me. What's wrong?"</p><p>Tony shook his head. "Bad dreams," he answered. They were more like nightmares, but he didn't want to tell her that. She already worried enough. "I'm gonna go downstairs."</p><p>"You should come back to bed. You need to get some sleep, Tony."</p><p>"I can't sleep right now," he sighed. "And I can't lay in bed. I'm gonna go work." He turned his chin over his shoulder. "Go back to sleep," he said, and even he could hear that his voice was quiet and tired. But he couldn’t lay down right now. If he thought he'd be able to sleep without the dreams, he'd try. But he knew better.</p><p>Down in the workshop, Tony had the schematics for the Spider-Man suit pulled up. He turned the projection, then exploded the view of the sleeves to study them. He peered at the image, his brain whirring through myriad ideas.</p><p>He got out of his chair, pacing the floor. He took the time to rub a hand at the back of his neck, closing his eyes. He took a breath, then turned back to the schematic. He snapped the sleeve back into place, typed in a few calculations, and rendered the new option. It didn't look any different on the outside, but it was <em>new.</em> That novelty was some small balm to Tony’s tired brain.</p><p>Assuming his calculations were correct (when weren't they?), this new material would be an amazing upgrade for Peter's suit. It would be more fire resistant and far less prone to tearing without being more restrictive. It would breathe really nicely as well. He leaned back and folded his arms over his chest as he focused on the render again.</p><p>Tony walked around the table, studying the suit from more angles; the movement helped him think.</p><p>Sitting at the keyboard again, he entered a long string of equations to test his current theory. Close, but it wasn't quite what he wanted. He made a few modifications and ran the calculations. He kept tweaking and changing and checking until he got the result he was after.</p><p>The suit wouldn't be indestructible, but the idea was to help prevent concussions and major injury. It was an improvement over the current version. He set the computer to constructing it and figured that that way he'd have it ready for Peter's upcoming fitting.</p><p>Leaving the Spider-Man suit to do its thing, Tony moved to another table where he had something new he'd been working on for Rhodey. Maybe if he kept himself busy with enough projects, he could avoid the dreams.</p><p>Maybe if he made enough suits, he could protect the people he was responsible for. </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Tony was bent over his current project, soldering bits together, when Pepper came down with food. "Busy," he grumbled, before she even spoke.</p><p>"You still need to eat," Pepper told him, setting a plate down on the bench near him. "And you might want to help a tiny scientist with her current experiment."</p><p>He frowned and looked up at her from his work.</p><p>"Your daughter," Pepper prompted.</p><p>The frown stayed. "I know who. Experiment?" Why would Morgan be doing experiments?</p><p>"I think she's making a volcano with Happy." Pepper sounded both amused and wary at the same time.</p><p>Tony tried, unsuccessfully, to hide an amused smirk. "I'm sure that's going well."</p><p>Pepper smiled. "She's asking for your assistance."</p><p>"I'll be up in a minute." He glanced at her when she didn't turn to go. "What?"</p><p>"Eat your sandwich." She nudged the plate with a well-crafted club sandwich resting on it.</p><p>"You're gonna stay down here until I do, aren't you?"</p><p>She nodded at him. "And then physically haul you upstairs, yes."</p><p>He conceded and ate his lunch. Then he went upstairs to help Morgan build her volcano - much to Happy's relief and Morgan's delight.</p><p>He did have to reign himself in and not go too over the top building the thing. It would've been super easy to construct pumps and flow regulators for an incredibly realistic product. But Morgan just wanted to watch the 'lava' bubble out of the inverted cone 'mountain' and run all over the table.</p><p>She cheered and giggled when the red-orange goop spit out of the top. And she clapped her hands happily as the stuff oozed down the sides. Her giggles bubbled into childish cackling when she saw Tony covered in the 'lava'.</p><p>He was going to need another shower.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>"Did you sleep down here?" Pepper asked as she came into the lab. She looked like she'd been trying to find him for a little while. Did she not ask FRIDAY?</p><p>Tony rubbed his eyes. "I don't know. What day is it?"</p><p>He saw Pepper try not to sigh. "It's Wednesday."</p><p>Huh. How long had he been down here? He'd helped Morgan with the volcano two days ago? No - Saturday, so four days, maybe? He hadn't actually slept over the weekend. He'd tried, but the dreams…</p><p>He wrinkled his nose and winced a little. "Then, yeah. I fell asleep down here."</p><p>"Tony," Pepper said softly, "I'm really worried about you. You're distracted-" she'd said the same thing to him at least once before, "-and ignoring your family."</p><p>That was a punch to the gut. He never wanted to be that guy. He never wanted to be the one who got so wrapped up in all of his work that his family was pushed to the back burner, like what had happened with his own father. He gave Pepper a tired, pained look. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't sleep. Not more than brief naps. He was worried about Peter. And now he was being a bad husband and a worse dad.</p><p>Pepper squeezed his shoulder. "You're worried about him. Maybe you should go see him. He has physical therapy tomorrow. Seeing how he's doing will make you feel better," she suggested.</p><p>He'd married a very smart woman.</p><p>Tony sighed and nodded. May had asked him to stay away, but there shouldn't be an issue with checking in on one of the team. "Thanks," he managed.</p><p>Pepper smiled, just a small one. "Now, come upstairs. Morgan's making pancakes."</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>May 2024</strong>
</p><p>That had turned out to be a less than great idea. The moment Tony stepped into the room with Peter, he knew it was going to be hard to leave. He could've turned to walk out after seeing Peter was fine. It might have even been believable that he'd just popped his head in to say 'hi', then had to go to a meeting or something.</p><p>The truth was, he missed the kid. Young man. Peter. After spending weeks keeping him company in the infirmary, it had been strange, and lonely, to just stop. There weren't a lot of people who could keep up with him intellectually. And Peter loved to ask questions. Smart, inquisitive questions. Tony loved that, even when he’d acted annoyed. Sometimes especially when he’d acted annoyed.</p><p>And he'd been missing it.</p><p>So, he'd gone into Peter's PT session. He'd had to force a smile onto his face, because as good as it felt to know Peter was okay, he knew he shouldn't have been there. He'd never convince anyone he was just checking up on one of the team. Because he was checking up on Peter.</p><p>Peter's session had been going well. And Tony was sure he'd get rapid fire questions or Peter just talking his ear off. But, no. He got awkward silence and sideways glances.</p><p>Had he done something wrong? Did Peter want him to leave? He'd gotten what <em>he'd</em> come for - verification that Peter was okay. He could go, convince himself he was content with the information about Peter's well-being.</p><p>But it wouldn't be enough.</p><p>He'd deluded himself into thinking he'd gotten drunk that one night because he felt guilty about putting Peter in danger. That was only part of it. Another part was him hating himself for agreeing wholesale to May's request. He should have asked for some concessions.</p><p>Was it too late to change her mind?</p><p>He needed to do something so his next interaction with Peter wouldn’t be so awkward.</p><p>After Peter's PT, Tony went back to his lab. It was comfortable there. He took a deep breath and made a decision. He called May Parker. The goal was to arrange something once a month for Peter to stop by the lab. Suit-fittings and upgrades, updated web fluid formulations, whatever. It could all be Avengers team related.</p><p>The whole conversation went over like a ton of bricks landing on his feet. May's stern 'Absolutely not, Mr. Stark' was clear as a bell. He didn't even attempt a rebuttal. He liked his balls where they were, thanks.</p><p>Tony slumped in his chair and tossed his phone on the table. He'd get through the upcoming fitting and that would be it.</p><p>Clean break. Not what he wanted, but easier for everyone. Right? Just walk away.</p><p><em>Bullshit.</em> And he knew it. Peter would know it too.</p><p>Peter would text him, he was sure of it. And he knew he wouldn't be able to <em>not</em> respond.</p><p>Tony turned out to be right. Peter messaged him after the fitting. And he wrote back. But how many times could he tell the kid he was busy before it started sounding like little more than a cop-out?</p><p>The fitting. Lord, that had been a mess. Peter had looked better than he had in a while. He'd come in wearing jeans and a t-shirt, walking with a bit of a limp given his injuries. But he'd looked good. It had been torture keeping distance between them. Tony had wanted nothing more than to get all the updates on Peter's life and tease him about whatever new thing came up that fit. He hadn't. Despite Peter's attempts to get him to engage, he'd all but shut down, operating on auto-pilot to get through the fitting and let Peter know when the suit would be ready.</p><p>It hurt. It hurt not to talk to Peter. It hurt to not know what he was up to. It hurt to be in the dark about what was going on at school and with his friends. He really wanted to hear that babbling banter thing Peter was able to do that sounded like a lot of words, but was always just his bubbling excitement about the topic at hand. Hell, Tony didn't even know what colleges Peter was applying to - and that had been one of the things they were going to talk about. He’d looked forward to it, Tony realized. And now he’d missed it.</p><p>That was a shitty way to be a friend, Tony knew. And his eternal refrain of 'I'm busy' wasn't going to hold up much longer before he drove Peter away entirely.</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>June - July 2024</strong>
</p><p>Tony had been a bad friend. Anyone watching from the outside would agree too. Honestly, he had to laugh at himself, because the only reason he noticed at all was because Pepper had been giving Morgan a kindergarten-level lecture about being nice to your friends.</p><p>The problem Tony kept running into was that he'd been barred from being a good friend by an external and immovable force. May Parker was formidable. So, he couldn't be the friend he should be. He'd find another way to let the kid know he was there for him - even when he wasn't able to.</p><p>He holed up in his workshop, designing and crafting and refining new suits and set-ups. For Peter mostly, but also himself, and the rest of the team. Then he shifted gears and put together a program that would let Peter design his own suits himself. Tony could anticipate some of Spider-Man's needs, but Peter would know what he needed better than anyone. This way, Tony was providing the tools for Peter to create on his own, rather than having Tony hand him things.</p><p>None of that occupied nearly as much of Tony's time as he'd wanted it to. Though it had apparently chewed through more of it than Pepper would have liked. She chided him on several occasions for being caught up in his work rather than spending time with her and Morgan. He really had tried to remember to emerge from his cave regularly - apparently not regularly enough.</p><p>Even Rhodey wasn't successful getting him to return to the land of other people. He'd liked the upgrade Tony had given him, but wasn't keen on dealing with all of Tony's snarling. Rhodey came back anyway because he's Tony's friend.</p><p>"Look, man, you have to get out of here. Go outside. Hell, find a bad guy to beat up. Anything," Rhodey told him when he came back in for a tune-up on the latest model of the War Machine armor.</p><p>"You here to harangue me again? I don't need that right now." Tony started up a routine scan.</p><p>"You need <em>something</em>."</p><p>"Is anyone dying? Anyone in trouble? Danger? No. They all have their shiny toys. And who's to thank for that? Me. So unless someone needs an update or an upgrade, go away." He spun his chair back to the screen to check on the scan.</p><p>Rhodey sighed and rolled his eyes. "Tony, everyone is grateful for the equipment you've built. They love it. But, we love you too, man. We're worried. <em>I'm</em> worried."</p><p>"I'm fine. Thanks for asking. You can go," Tony said dismissively.</p><p>Rhodey rubbed a hand over his face. "You are one frustrating son-of-a-bitch, you know that?"</p><p>Tony turned in his chair and glared at his friend. "Yes. Any other deep insights for me, honeybear?"</p><p>"Don't call me that."</p><p>"Sugar smacks?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Puddin' pie?"</p><p>"Fuck off, Tony."</p><p>"Oh come on, platypus. You know you love me. You just said so."</p><p>"I changed my mind. Stay down here. I'll come back when you're done with the armor. Better yet, I'll have Happy drop it off for me. You're creeping me out." Rhodey walked away and stepped into the elevator.</p><p>"Bye sweetums!" Tony called and got a rude finger gesture for his trouble.</p><p>The conversation with Rhodey had actually helped. He still would rather stay down in his workshop tinkering away at all of his toys, but the social interaction had been desperately needed. Even if he would never admit that to anyone.</p><p>FRIDAY piped up to remind him that Morgan's birthday was coming up in a few weeks. No problem. He already had her birthday gift planned and ready to go. If he remembered, he'd get Pepper's approval before he gave it to her. It wasn't something too dangerous to give to a child, but Pepper didn't always agree with Tony's gift choices.</p><p>"When is Parker's birthday, FRIDAY?" he asked as he started working on another project.</p><p>"Peter Parker's birthday is the tenth of August, boss."</p><p>That gave him some time to think of something. It would need to be small enough to drop off without Tony needing to go inside, since Aunt May likely wouldn't let him past the front door. And handing off something to Peter's aunt would likely result in Peter never actually getting it. He leaned back in his chair, thinking while he gazed at the project in front of him. There had to be a good idea buried somewhere in his brain.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>June 2024</strong>
</p><p>After school finished for the year, Peter ramped up his PT sessions, doing three or four per week when he could. He was determined to get himself back into shape and ready for missions. There was also the chance that he would bump into Mr. Stark if he was at the compound more often.</p><p>Once he was back in top form, he could take up his Spider-Man patrols again and prove he was ready. Show everyone what he could do. Actually be part of the team.</p><p>Peter's arm apparently thought his plans were hilarious, because the spasms didn't seem to be going away. He'd hoped all of the PT work he was doing would fix that. It was mostly fine unless he got really stressed.</p><p>Peter asked Jen during one PT session how long she thought he still needed to work with her. She'd told him she wasn't sure, but once his endurance and agility were back closer to his previous Spider-Man levels, he'd be good to go.</p><p>That would be a while then. By the end of the school year, he'd still only been physically in class two days a week. He'd been able to move around between classes without getting winded, but by the end of the day, he had still been exhausted.</p><p>He'd thought his recovery would be faster given his healing capabilities. What was the point of having super powers if they didn't work when you needed them to?</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>"How long are you gonna be out of commission?" Ned asked when they met for lunch on a Saturday a few weeks after school got out. Peter was needing to get out of the house and Ned provided the perfect opportunity with a very well-timed invitation.</p><p>Peter shrugged. "I don't know. Hopefully not much longer. I'm going stir-crazy."</p><p>Ned pushed his half-full fry plate over to Peter's side of the table. "But you're at the compound for stuff, right? Like doing Avenger stuff?"</p><p>"Mostly I'm there doing rehab." Peter grabbed a couple fries. "They haven't let me sit in on team briefings yet. No assignments either. Unless 'hey, can you look on the internet for 'this'?' counts as an assignment." He rolled his eyes. "Like Mr. Wilson and Colonel Rhodes don't know how to use Google."</p><p>"Kid's table assignments, huh?"</p><p>"Every. Damned. Time." He sighed and chewed on some more fries. "I'm not nine."</p><p>Ned gave a knowing nod. He sipped his soda. "What about Mr. Stark? He come see you yet?"</p><p>Peter shook his head sadly. "Nope. I'm thinking about asking May if we can invite him over for my birthday." That thought made him happy and his chest got all fluttery.</p><p>"That might be cool. Anyone else invited?" Ned asked expectantly.</p><p>"Come on, Ned, you know you're always part of my birthday. With or without Iron Man."</p><p>"Awesome," Ned said and put his hand up for a fistbump.</p><p>Peter met the fistbump. "We should see a movie or two this summer too. That I can do."</p><p>"Yeah! There's some good stuff coming up. We'll do it," Ned promised, looking happier.</p><p>"That'll be fun. I need to get out of the apartment more."</p><p>Understatement.</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>August 2024</strong>
</p><p>Most of the summer had been a huge bummer. Eventually, Peter was finally allowed to sit in on a few of the Avengers' team meetings, but it always felt like they went out of their way to bring him in when Mr. Stark was conspicuously absent. When Peter wasn't being grudgingly allowed into the meetings, he spent most of his time researching schools that were not MIT. Mr. Stark had been wanting him to go to MIT - had all but offered to fully pay for it - but there was no way Peter would be able to go there. Not with that shadow lurking so heavily.</p><p>He did put college thoughts aside for a while to celebrate his birthday. May invited Ned and MJ over for dinner and cake. They both brought him presents, which really helped lighten his mood in a way he hadn't expected. He had the best friends.</p><p>There was, however, one person missing. He'd asked May about inviting Mr. Stark - since it was his birthday and all - but she'd told him she wanted to keep it to just a couple people. He'd thought about arguing, but hadn't had the energy.</p><p>After the party, after he'd said good-bye to Ned and MJ, he went to his room to rest. On the desk, propped up against his computer, he found an envelope addressed to him in Mr. Stark's handwriting. He glanced toward the door, then the window. How had Mr. Stark gotten something into his room without May knowing about it? Without Peter knowing about it?</p><p>Another glance toward the door, then he flipped the envelope over and opened the flap where it was tucked into the back. He drew out the card and had to laugh. Of course Mr. Stark had his own Iron Man themed birthday cards.</p><p>He opened it expecting to see just Mr. Stark's name and maybe a quick 'Happy birthday' written on the inside, but there was a brief note and a plastic gift card. The note wasn't much more than 'Happy birthday', but it did instruct him to use the money for whatever he needed - school supplies, pizza, a new computer. How much had Mr. Stark put on that card?</p><p>And why had Mr. Stark been able to drop off a gift, but wouldn't come visit him? Even for his birthday?</p><p>Peter tucked the gift card back into the greeting card and slid both back into the envelope, then dropped it into his desk drawer. He wanted to be excited about the gift, but he just didn't understand what was going on. Then his arm spasmed - just what he needed.</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>September 2024</strong>
</p><p>Sitting on the bed in his room a week or so into the new school year, he tried one more time to talk to Mr. Stark. He texted:</p><p>
  <em>looking at colleges</em>
</p><p>[MIT?]</p><p>
  <em>nope</em>
</p><p>[y?]</p><p>
  <em>don't wanna go there</em>
</p><p>[y?]</p><p><em>too much you</em> It was low. He knew it. He hadn't really meant to say it, but Peter wasn't in the best place mentally. He regretted sending it as soon as he hit the button, but he couldn't take it back.</p><p>[not wrong. but too much me isn't a bad thing. :)] The stupid smiley was the only emoticon Mr. Stark knew.</p><p><em>it is when you don't even like me anymore</em> That gut-twisting was back. He hated that feeling. He wanted Mr. Stark to like him.</p><p>[i like you]</p><p>
  <em>coulda fooled me. you never talk to me</em>
</p><p>[talking now]</p><p><em>no. texting. not the same</em> It wasn't. He wanted to hear Mr. Stark's voice and see him smile or make that face he made when he was puzzling through something. He wanted to stand next to him, their heads bent over a worktable figuring out a fix to some issue with a new gadget Mr. Stark was developing, shoulder-to-shoulder, close enough for Peter to hear his heart beat...</p><p>Peter's thoughts were interrupted with Mr. Stark's reply: [sorry, kid. can't]</p><p>
  <em>y not?</em>
</p><p>[cuz]</p><p>
  <em>that's not a reason</em>
</p><p>[sorry]</p><p>
  <em>oh fuck off</em>
</p><p>[don't let May hear that]</p><p>Peter didn't respond. He tossed his phone toward the end of his bed. He overshot and it tumbled to the floor. He didn't have the energy to get up to retrieve it.</p><p>May came into the room, obviously a result of hearing the noise. "Honey, what happened?"</p><p>"My phone fell off the bed." He tried to hold all of his emotions in. He didn't want to talk to May again about Mr. Stark.</p><p>May knelt to pick up his phone from the floor. She held it out to him. "Does it still work?"</p><p>Peter shrugged. "Don't care." He dumped it onto his bedside table. If it was broken he'd fix it. Wouldn't be the first time.</p><p>"Peter, I'm really worried about you."</p><p>"I'm fine."</p><p>May shook her head and sat down on the bed next to him. "No. I don't think so. You've been really down since that big alien battle. Maybe we should take a vacation."</p><p>"I don't know that I can walk long enough for much of a vacation." He was only up to three classes per week in person now that his therapy days were shorter.</p><p>"I guess you're right. Maybe there's a friend you can talk to."</p><p>"There is. But he won't talk to me."</p><p>"Are we back on Mr. Stark again?" she asked, sounding a little disappointed.</p><p>Peter frowned. "What? He's my friend. But it's been six months since I was even in the same room as him. And I don't know why." He could feel the tears pricking his eyes.</p><p>"Maybe you should just forget about that man and move on."</p><p>"I'm an Avenger. That's literally impossible!" he shouted. "It's also making this so hard!" He lowered his voice a little and sighed. "I should be learning things and working with my teammates. But when I go over there, I can't concentrate because I'm trying to figure out why I'm only invited to the meetings where Mr. Stark is absent. Not that he'd look at me even if he was there." The one time Mr. Stark had randomly shown up, he'd made sure to lurk in the doorway, as far from Peter as he could get. Fresh tears of frustration filled his eyes. He wanted to go out and swing around the city, clear his head, but he couldn't be Spider-Man right now. Between his arm and his energy levels, he'd end up hurting himself more.</p><p>When May tried to soothe him, he waved for her to get out. He needed to be alone.</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>October 2024</strong>
</p><p>Peter was churning through his advanced chemistry homework. He had nothing else to do during the first couple months of his senior year since he couldn't really go out with his friends as often as he'd like. That was when he got a bizarre text. From Mr. Stark.</p><p>[miss you, kid]</p><p>The hell?</p><p><em>whatever.</em> Peter didn't have time for this sort of crap. Okay, he did. What he didn't have was the patience for it.</p><p>[not whatever. really. miss you.
I've been bad as a friend
not my fault tho]</p><p>
  <em>you're drunk aren't you?</em>
</p><p>[probably]</p><p><em>bye, Mr. Stark.</em> He couldn't have a conversation with a drunk Tony Stark. Only Peter would remember any of it. And it was very likely he would end up feeling terrible.</p><p>[no. wait. this - this keeping me awak]</p><p>
  <em>you probably should go to sleep. and stop drinking</em>
</p><p>[come on, kid. trying to apologies for being shitty] Of course the autocorrect typo wasn't on the swear word.</p><p>
  <em>good night, Mr. Stark</em>
</p><p>[srs not my fault. wanted to talk to you. 
A lot
couldn't]</p><p>
  <em>y not?</em>
</p><p>[cuz]</p><p>
  <em>right</em>
</p><p>[Aunt M said no]</p><p><em>what?!</em> The extra punctuation was necessary.</p><p>[told me leave alone]</p><p>
  <em>she told you to leave me alone?</em>
</p><p>[yesssssss] Peter wasn't sure how Mr. Stark managed that between FRIDAY and autocorrect.</p><p><em>y? y would she do that?</em> He could feel angry tears prick his eyes. May had been keeping Mr. Stark away from him this whole time?</p><p>[protect u i guess <br/>
she's right too <br/>
I'm not good for you <br/>
put you in danger - a lot <br/>
that was bad. i shouldn't have done that <br/> 
i tried to keep u away from me - tried <br/>
but i'm too selfish to keep doing that cuz i miss u too]</p><p>Peter watched the little typing bubbles on his screen for the whole five minutes it took an apparently pretty drunk Mr. Stark to send all of that to him. His only response to that was:</p><p>
  <em>wow</em>
</p><p>[yeah] came back from Mr. Stark and Peter just stared at his phone.</p><p>That was a lot to work through. A lot. What was he supposed to say to all of that?</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Peter put a lid on his anger and stepped out of his room. "May - can you please explain why you told Mr. Stark not to talk to me?" Maybe not all of his anger.</p><p>May turned around from the counter where she was making dinner. She kept her face neutral as she asked, "Who told you that?"</p><p>"He did," he said firmly. "He texted me." From May's reaction, he knew he was right. His stomach hurt. "Why?" he asked, pain making his voice strain a little.</p><p>She set the knife she'd been using to dice an onion on the counter and wiped her hands on a towel. "Peter, I worry for your safety. That is the most important thing for me. Keeping you safe." She raised a hand to ask him to let her finish. "Your life has been in danger considerably more times since we met him."</p><p>"That's coincidence," he said incredulously, trying not to yell. "It happened not long after I became Spider-Man. He didn't turn me into a hero."</p><p>"That may be, but he is why you ended up on an alien planet. And in the middle of that battle that nearly got you killed, Peter." She pulled a chair out from the dining table and sat down. "You are my responsibility until you move out on your own. And I don't want you on any Avenger missions or interacting with Tony Stark while you're living here."</p><p>Peter threw up his hands. "This is so unfair," he huffed. "It's like I'm being punished for having superpowers. I didn't decide to be this way. It happened. And I have a responsibility to do good with the gifts I've been given. Isn't that what Uncle Ben always said?" His voice was strained as he spoke about his uncle.</p><p>May nodded, a sad smile on her lips. "He did, yes. But you should help people in your neighborhood. The people closest to you. You don't have to save the whole world, Peter."</p><p>"Again."</p><p>"What?" May asked confused.</p><p>"I don't have to save the whole world <em>again</em>, you mean. I already did it once." He took a deep breath. "And I'm alive because of Mr. Stark." That made his voice catch a little. He knew that, but he'd never said it before.</p><p>"The answer's still 'no', Peter," May said, quiet but firm.</p><p>"Fine." Peter went back into his room and closed the door.</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>November 2024</strong>
</p><p>PT had been awesome! He did super well with everything today. Jen had even pushed Peter a bit to see if he was really improving or if he'd just been pushing himself to look better. Nope! He was doing great. And he felt really good too. The strength in his leg seemed to be almost back to pre-Thanos, same with his arm. It hadn't had any significant spasms in several weeks. It was great.</p><p>Peter texted Ned and MJ to see if they wanted to hang out for a bit - something quiet and easy, since he still didn't want to overdo it. They met up for a quick dinner, then went to a movie. It was bad, but Peter didn't even care. He got to hang out with his friends somewhere that wasn't his apartment and he wasn't half-exhausted during it either. It felt so good.</p><p>He was in an amazing mood when he got home. May was still at work, so Peter had the whole place to himself. He looked in the fridge for a soda and nearly jumped when his phone buzzed with a notification. Thumbing open the notification, it was a post from a blog he followed. Included in the post was the most stunning photo of Tony he had ever seen. It was recent - he could tell by the slight wisps of gray at his temples. But he was standing on a tarmac, heading toward his plane, with the brilliance of the sunrise behind him, orange, red and yellow light making his hair and skin glow. He was waving to someone, probably the photographers, and smiling - but it wasn't the usual paparazzi smile, this one was genuine. Someone must've said something he liked just before the photo. It was fantastic.</p><p>Peter popped open his soda, and took a sip while walking back to his room, still staring at the photo. He pushed the door closed and threw the lock. Another sip of his drink as he set his phone down and opened his laptop. He wanted to enjoy the photo in a larger format than his phone screen. It was even better on his laptop. He moved the laptop and angled it so he could see it from his bed.</p><p>He wiggled out of his jeans and sat on the bed, scooted back to lean against the wall. He imagined that Tony was smiling at him, maybe at something he'd said that was really witty and cool. And telling him that he'll be back in a few days. Peter let his fingers brush across his crotch where he was starting to get hard.</p><p>This wasn't the first time he'd had a sexual reaction to Tony. Not even the first time he'd gotten himself off to images - mental or otherwise. When he'd been in recovery back at the compound, it had been so frustrating that he was covered in bandages and unable to take care of some of his needs. Especially with Tony visiting so frequently - at least for a while. He'd loved it. At least now he knew why Tony stopped visiting.</p><p>Peter rubbed at himself again, leaning back in the bed. Dipping his hand inside his shorts, he drew his cock free and began to stroke slowly. He stared at the photo of Tony, imagining how different his hands might be. Would they be rougher with work callouses? Would he be gentle? Or would he be domineering and loom over Peter? All of those ideas had him stroking himself faster.</p><p>From there, it didn't take him long to finish. He cleaned up a little with his t-shirt, then closed his laptop and went to the bathroom to shower. He was riding the high of his fantasy and orgasm, but he was also pretty sure nothing like that would ever happen. Nothing had so far.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Peter was sitting at the kitchen table working on a project for his history class. He was building a Trojan horse with bricks from a Lego set he'd found in his closet. He'd been working on it for a couple hours and he was thinking he was almost done. An arm spasm (those showing up again weren't fun) had knocked part of the tail section off; he was working on rebuilding it when his phone buzzed.</p><p>He checked it - a text from Mr. Stark.</p><p>[hey - you busy?]</p><p><em>history homework</em> he sent back.</p><p>Mr. Stark never texted him first. Never. Except that one time he was drunk. Peter was pretty sure Mr. Stark had to be drunk this time too.</p><p>The next text didn't do much to change that opinion:</p><p>[come see me]</p><p><em>what?</em> A warm little flutter took up residence in his chest. He would love to hang out with Mr. Stark.</p><p>[come over here - come visit. i miss you]</p><p>Mr. Stark was so obviously drunk again. Why did Peter only get texts from the man when he was plastered?</p><p><em>how?</em> He definitely wanted to go. But, he wasn't going to ask Mr. Stark to drive him given his current state of inebriation.</p><p>[sending car 
please?]</p><p>
  <em>what about M?</em>
</p><p>[don't worry about Aunt M. just come] Okay, Peter wasn't entirely sure he agreed with the suggestion of blatant and open defiance.</p><p>On the other hand, he was angry May was still being so insistent about him not talking to Mr. Stark. The fight with Thanos had been a year ago. Was it still so important for him to stay away? He went to his room and stuffed some things into his backpack, then ducked out the window. He left a brief note for May. And he did have his mostly-functional phone with him as well.</p><p>When the car pulled up, he paused to glance up at May's window, then got in. He sighed in relief that it was one of the driver-less cars and not some random driver. God bless Mr. Stark's tech.</p><p>Peter stepped out of the car when it pulled up in front of the building; the reconstruction was almost complete from what he could see in the dark. There was a ping to his phone as he reached the door, directing him to where Mr. Stark was waiting for him.</p><p>When he finally found him, Mr. Stark was slumped in a chair studying a collection of armor renders slowly rotating above the hologram table. "Um - Mr. Stark?" Peter called tentatively. He put his backpack on a worktable and made his way toward the chair. "Mr. Stark?"</p><p>"Tony," he said back.</p><p>"No, it's Peter," he responded, confused.</p><p>Mr. Stark barked out a short laugh. "No, I mean you're old enough to use my first name."</p><p>Of course. Peter knew that. "Right - yeah. Okay, Tony." Why was he so nervous? He wanted to come over here and see Tony, so he should be excited, right?</p><p>Tony waved a hand. "C'mere."</p><p>Peter stepped around to the front of the chair. Something was different. Tony looked different - more tired maybe. And not just from the drinking. "Are you okay, Mr… I mean, Tony?"</p><p>"Much better now." He pushed a hand through his rumpled hair. "I've missed you, Pete."</p><p>Peter gave him a small, bittersweet smile, his throat tight with emotion as he choked out, "I've missed you, too." Then he found himself wrapped in a semi-inebriated, pretty emotional hug from Tony. Peter hugged back, tight. Not enough to hurt, just enough to <em>feel</em>.</p><p>How had it been nearly a year since he'd really even seen Tony, much less hugged him? He was angry at Aunt May, for keeping this from him for so long, but for now, he was going to bury his face in Tony's shoulder. And if he maybe shed a few tears of relief as he stood here, safe in Tony's embrace, nobody would ever know. He'd missed Tony so much.</p><p>The feeling was obviously mutual given Tony's staunch refusal to let go. Peter could tell. He sighed softly, almost happily, against Tony's shoulder. His body ached with exhaustion, but he needed this so much, he ignored it. He could push through a little more so he could spend this time with Tony.</p><p>"I'm sorry I went along with this," Tony said. "I hated it." He pulled back and looked at Peter.</p><p>"I hated it too. It was awful." Peter could feel his lip trying to quiver. "I thought you didn't - didn't like me anymore." His breath was shaky when he spoke. And he couldn't look Tony in the eye.</p><p>Tony brushed his hand over Peter's hair. "Oh god, Pete. I like you. I definitely like you. And I'm sorry I let this go on as long as it did."</p><p>"It wasn't entirely your fault."</p><p>"It was enough. And we can stand here and argue degrees all night, but it won't be all that productive."</p><p>Peter nodded and rested his head on Tony's shoulder again, quiet for a while. "H-how long were you wanting me to stay?" He'd brought a bag along out of preparedness, but he didn't want to make any assumptions.</p><p>"All weekend if you'd like. We need to catch up."</p><p>He wasn't wrong. But: "Tony, I'm fine hanging out, but I'm not so sure I'm okay with you drinking while I'm here."</p><p>Tony winced and rubbed a hand over his forehead. "Oh god - I'm sorry. I've been handling things pretty badly. I'll get some water and we can go watch a movie. No more drinks." He held up a hand like that 'scout's honor' thing Peter had seen on TV.</p><p>Peter nodded. "Okay. What should we watch?"</p><p>"Whatever you want. I have everything." Tony put a hand on Peter's shoulder and guided him toward the elevator.</p><p>Peter picked a couple movies and kicked off his shoes before curling up on the couch. Tony sprawled effortlessly beside him as the movie got started. Peter wanted to shift over and curl up against Tony's side, but he wasn't sure they were on friendly enough terms for him to be that close. So, he stayed where he was, leaving the bit of space Tony had put between them.</p><p>They didn't really talk much during the movie. Peter was kind of okay with that. Just being in the same room with Tony made him feel more relaxed. His heart had been pounding the whole ride over and didn't calm down until Tony had hugged him. Which was great - it meant his nerves weren't on high alert anymore.</p><p>Near the end of the first movie, Peter glanced over when he heard snoring. He smiled softly and dragged an afghan off the back of the couch to drape over Tony. He snagged another one to pull around himself as he laid down, and tucked a pillow beneath his head so he'd be comfortable and warm if he fell asleep during the second movie.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Peter woke to find a phone full of texts and voicemails and missed calls from his aunt. He winced guiltily and stared at his phone for a minute while he worked out what to say.</p><p>"How pissed is she?" Tony asked from the doorway, mug of coffee in hand.</p><p>Peter made a pained face and waved Tony out of the room. He took a breath, then called May back.</p><p>She was speaking firmly at him almost before she answered the phone. He capped his anger so he could talk to her.</p><p>"May - I know you're upset. And I'm sorry. But…"</p><p>She cut him off, not quite yelling at him, but she wasn't happy.</p><p>"May…" he began, "…you lied to me."</p><p>"What?" her anger was still there, but halted for a moment.</p><p>Peter took another deep breath. "You lied to me. And that was wrong. And you told me that I couldn't talk to Mr. Stark while I was still at home. So, I'm not coming home for a while."</p><p>He didn't want to do that, but he needed the space. The time to think. The thought of going home and never seeing Tony again settled like a physical pain.</p><p>"Peter -"</p><p>"No, May. There is nothing you can say to me that will make this okay. I'm staying here," he said, trying to keep his voice from cracking. He'd never done anything like this before.</p><p>"Peter, I need you to come home."</p><p>"I'm sorry, May. I can't. Not now." A breath. "I've gotta go. I love you." Then he hung up. He couldn't talk to her right now. He hated that - he'd always been able to talk to May. But at the moment, he was too angry.</p><p>Tony came back to the room, still with his coffee cup in hand. "Everything okay?"</p><p>Peter shook his head. "No. I'm pissed, Tony. Why would she do that?"</p><p>"Pretty sure she was trying to protect you, Pete," Tony said calmly. "It's kind of what parents do."</p><p>"Doesn't matter. I can't go back there." He tossed his phone down on the couch and started folding the afghan.</p><p>"Why?" Tony sipped his coffee and rested a hip on the back of the couch.</p><p>"I just can't," he said tiredly. "She won't ever let me come back here." The afghan got draped across the back of the couch and he reached for the one he'd put over Tony last night.</p><p>"You can't stay here forever."</p><p>Peter blinked up at Tony. "Why not? There's plenty of space. I'm part of the team…"</p><p>"You can't, Pete." Tony sounded a little resigned. "If I let you stay, this gets a whole lot worse."</p><p>Peter's frown deepened. "What made you change your mind? You were all about getting me to stay last night."</p><p>"Being sober and getting some sleep," Tony answered sullenly.</p><p>"I don't want to go back," he grumbled.</p><p>"I get that, but there's no way you'd make it to school on time from here every morning. Traffic sucks."</p><p>"School?" Peter asked incredulously. "School is why I should go back to Aunt May's?"</p><p>Tony sighed softly. "One of many very good reasons. Pete, you've got to finish school. You're almost done. And if I keep you here, your aunt will definitely kill me. Or worse."</p><p>"Please don't make me, Tony."</p><p>"I have to. I'll let you get a shower and some breakfast, but then I'll have to drive you home."</p><p>Peter tried not to be petulant about the whole thing. He huffed a little. "Fine. But you drive me. Not Happy. Not an AI car. You."</p><p>"Deal," Tony concurred and waved his coffee mug in the general direction of the bathroom, indicating Peter should get moving.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>October 2024</strong>
</p><p>Tony needed to stop falling asleep in the lab. He always woke up with a back ache. He scrubbed a hand over his hair and sat back in his chair. There was a glass on the desk with the melted ice from the night before. He groaned at himself.</p><p>His phone pinged at him with a message from Pepper that they had dinner plans tonight. That was hours away. For now, he needed a shower and breakfast.</p><p>As he got up to go upstairs, he had a sudden flash of memory. He skimmed through the messages on his phone:</p><p>
  <em>that was bad. i shouldn't have done that<br/>
i tried to keep u away from me - tried<br/>
but i'm too selfish to keep doing that cuz i miss u too</em>
</p><p>Oh shit.</p><p>He winced at himself. He'd texted Peter last night. He'd <em>drunk</em> texted Peter last night. What the hell had he been thinking?</p><p>Taking a terrifying moment, he scrolled back through the rest of the messages. Oh hell - he'd told Peter that Aunt May had insisted he leave him alone. How was that going to play out? Knowing Peter, the kid wouldn't take it well and he'd confront his aunt about it. After that, it was anyone's guess.</p><p>He tucked his phone away and made his way up to his penthouse to get a shower. If he could keep himself from sending Peter more text messages, he'd be both respecting May's request and not getting his own damned ass in trouble.</p><p>Which mostly meant locking himself away in his workshop, banging away at whatever project he'd come up with for himself this time, preferably until it was time to go to dinner with Pepper and Morgan.</p><p>Morgan was the best distraction. She always had a million things she wanted to tell him about or show him. Sometimes it was her new favorite toy for the week, the book she got from the school library to read, or the pictures of what she and Happy had gotten up to - usually containing a very disgruntled Happy. The best was when she asked to 'go really fast' in one of the cars. So, he'd take her out and drive around the compound and down the parkway - never as fast as he drove on his own. But, generally he managed to get them fast enough that Morgan would giggle and scream in delight. It was a sound he loved to hear.</p><p>Every time he thought back to the first time Morgan had asked and he'd told her 'of course', he could still see the horrified look on Pepper's face. She was clearly convinced he'd take their daughter out driving at 100mph in one of his fancy sports cars. She'd even screeched at him, "Tony, you <em>can't</em>!" Morgan had pouted. Tony had reassured Morgan that they were definitely going to 'go really fast'. Then he'd assured Pepper that he wasn't going to do anything to put their little girl in danger. Pepper had followed them out to the garage insisting on seat belts and leaving the top up and a whole list of other things to ensure Morgan's safety. Tony had, been himself really, and appeared to ignore her, but had proceeded to strap Morgan into her car seat in the back seat of the car, left the top up - because it didn't have a top that went down - but had opened the moon roof to let the air flow through the cabin. "We'll be fine," he'd assured Pepper. Then he’d given her a kiss, and gotten into the car.</p><p>And they had been. Fine, that is. He'd driven at about 60-65mph the whole time. It was fast from Morgan's point of view, which was the important thing.</p><p>So Morgan as a distraction had worked for a while. It had worked until Pepper took Morgan on their pre-arranged trip to visit Pepper's parents back in California. It was a trip for Morgan to spend some quality time with her grandparents. However, it left Tony mostly alone with his thoughts. And a hundred projects were great, except when his focus would land on the table in the corner that he'd set up for Peter, way back when while he'd been waiting for the big damned hero to recover in the infirmary, so he could come help Tony in the workshop. There had been plans. But that table had been empty the entire time it'd been there.</p><p>Combine all of that with the drinks Tony started making for himself and that explained how he ended up drunk!texting Peter and asking him to come spend the weekend… to sneak out even.</p><p>It was not, all in all, Tony’s finest hour. But it was perhaps his most honest in a long time.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>November 2024</strong>
</p><p>Aunt May opened the door and looked relieved to see Peter on the other side. She looked far less thrilled to see Tony there as well. Which was about what he'd expected.</p><p>Peter slipped through the door, past May, and stormed to his room. Tony heard the door shut. He sighed and looked at May.</p><p>Begrudgingly, she said, "Thank you for bringing him home..."</p><p>"You're welcome. But I'd like to talk to you for a moment." May waved him inside and shut the door. "As his guardian and parental figure, I think you made the wrong choice to ask me to stay away."</p><p>"Clearly it didn't work anyway." May mostly sounded tired. "He ran away."</p><p>Tony waited a beat, then said, "He didn't run away. He was trying to get your attention and tell you what he needed." When May just sort of gave him a confused look, he continued, "How many seventeen-year-old superheroes do you think there are at his school? Or in the city? There's only a handful of people he can talk to about what happened, what he's going through. And as much as the therapist is doing, it's not the same as having the chance to talk to someone who was actually there."</p><p>Tony's pretty sure he'd be a little better adjusted if he'd had someone to talk to about Afghanistan who'd actually been there with him. But the only other person who'd been there and gave a shit about him, gave his life so Tony could escape. He'd never forget that, but he'd never really get over it either. He had Rhodey too, of course, but Rhodey only came in with the rescue at the end. There was gratitude there, mutual gratitude even – Tony for Rhodey coming to get him, Rhodey for him having the grace to not die in a cave before Rhodey could get to him – but gratitude wasn't the same as having been there, in the cave itself. Only Yinsen – and their captors - had had that dubious honor.</p><p>"Add to that, it was a pretty huge undertaking, and he's got a lot going on that he may just need to talk through with someone who understands."</p><p>"And that would be you?" she asked and Tony could hear the almost disdain in her voice.</p><p>He gave a shrug and felt the corners of his mouth tip upward. "Shared trauma does make it easier. And we... speak the same language." Science and technology and engineering, maybe even a little of all that pop culture Peter was always tossing around that Tony pretended to be annoyed by. "There's also sometimes things a kid doesn't want to tell his parents." Which he was also very familiar with. He slid his glasses from his nose and held them in his hand. </p><p>May's face was hard. "And how do you know so much about parenting, Mr. Stark?"</p><p>He smiled softly and tucked the stem of his glasses into his collar. "I have a five-year-old daughter. A lot happened in the years you and Peter were gone. I do try my best to protect her, but I can't always. And I have to accept that."</p><p>"This isn't the same as fixing a scraped knee."</p><p>"No," he said. "It's much bigger. Believe me, I've done my best to keep him limited to the five boroughs..." That trip to Germany aside. "But Peter is the type who wants to help everyone. And that's great, but not always possible."</p><p>"Yes, but you're the reason he was trapped on another <em>planet</em>, Mr. Stark," May argued. Her voice came out sharp and clipped.</p><p>"I tried to send him home," Tony countered. "His stubbornness kept him on the ship. He wanted to help." He took a tired breath. "I know you want him to be safe. So do I. Short of wrapping him in bubble wrap, I'm not sure what else I can do." He tucked his hands into his pockets. "I do know, lying to him won't solve anything. In fact, it'll push him farther away. He wanted to stay at the compound indefinitely."</p><p>"Why didn't you let him? It's where he wanted to be. He'd be safe there, right?" May provided pretty much the same argument Peter had made and Tony appreciated how similar they were.</p><p>Tony snorted lightly. "Because he's a seventeen-year-old superhero who needs to keep his ass at home," he answered.</p><p>May gave him half a grin. Progress maybe. "He hates me, doesn't he?" she asked with a tired sigh.</p><p>"No. He's angry, but he still loves you. He wouldn't have let me bring him back here if he hated you. But, friendly word of advice - don't lie to him like that again. It'll drive a wedge between you that will push him away. And the sooner he starts to distance himself from you, the easier it will be to keep that going."</p><p>"Is that experience talking, Mr. Stark?" May asked him. And he thought he heard a hint of knowing and understanding in her tone.</p><p>He didn't answer. Which was likely answer enough. He had no intention of dredging up his past.</p><p>"You mind if I talk to him a minute?" he asked her.</p><p>"Go ahead. He probably won't talk to me until after graduation."</p><p>Tony smiled softly and crossed to Peter's bedroom door. He knocked once. "Hey, Pete, can I come in?"</p><p>"Sure," he heard through the door. Peter didn't sound enthusiastic.</p><p>He stepped into the room and pushed the door closed. Peter was laying on his bed, feet propped on the wall above where the headboard was meant to be.</p><p>"You okay?" Tony tried.</p><p>"Should tell you to fuck off."</p><p>"Not effective, but if it'll make you feel better, by all means." He held his arms out at his sides.</p><p>Peter rocked his head back and forth. "Nah. How pissed is May, though?"</p><p>"She's a lot more worried than angry."</p><p>"I'm still mad about her lying to me." He crossed his arms over his chest and it was almost more cute than menacing.</p><p>"Understandable. It wasn't right for her to do that. And I shouldn't have asked you to sneak out. This one I can blame on the alcohol. But I still shouldn't have."</p><p>Peter shrugged. "I would've done it anyway. Eventually."</p><p>"Yeah. That's what I figured." He'd done similar things at Peter's age. Worse, really. He'd sent the car to pick Peter up, so that was an improvement over his own sneaking endeavors, right?</p><p>Peter shifted and sat up. "Am I allowed to see you now?"</p><p>"You'll need to take that up with your aunt." He hadn't actually gotten a ruling on that. And he hadn't felt the need to push. One thing at a time.</p><p>"If I can't, I'll just run away again," Peter stated defiantly. His sulking would be adorable if Tony wasn't sure he knew exactly where it came from. "I need you, Tony," he said toward his lap.</p><p>"Hey," he said back, resting a hand on Peter's shoulder, "I'm here. Whenever you need me."</p><p>Peter all but leaped off the bed and wrapped his arms around Tony's waist. "You'd better be."</p><p>It felt good to have someone who wanted to be around him for him. Fuck, he needed someone like Peter - so kind and passionate and willing to both indulge him and stand up to him. He really could've used a friend like him when he was in school. He'd found Rhodey in college, but earlier? Being the whiz kid breezing through everything had left him sort of isolated.</p><p>Tony watched Peter bite his lip. Something was coming. "M- Tony, I um - was wondering if you - maybe had any ideas about fixing my arm."</p><p>Tony frowned. "What's wrong with your arm?" This was the first he'd heard of anything residual from the stones for Peter. Tony had some scarring and occasional tingles from where he was the primary conduit, but that was all. He'd known Peter was doing PT for his arm before, but he thought that was mostly done.</p><p>"You don't know?" Peter looked pissed again. He shook it off. "It - it twitches sometimes. Like, kinda big twitches. If I'm writing notes in class, I'll get stray marks all the way across the page. And that's just the annoying stuff. Web swinging can get kind of dicey - not that I've tested it much."</p><p>"We can take a look. Bruce can run some motor tests for you. See what's going on. It's probably from the radiation, but I'd really like him to check."</p><p>Peter nodded. "I'll ask Happy." That made Tony smile. "I'd like you to be there though."</p><p>"Absolutely. Anything you need."</p><p>"Can you get me those five missing years back?"</p><p>Tony pressed his lips together. "At this point? No." He wasn't willing to make the necessary trade-off. Again.</p><p>Peter nodded his head. "Okay."</p><p>Tony pulled him in for another hug. Holding him and relishing that warmth against his chest, and the knowledge that what he was doing was helping. This was a good thing.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>January - April 2025</strong>
</p><p>Tony should have seen it coming. Hell, he probably had and had ignored it. He didn't want Pepper to go, but he couldn't think of good reasons to ask her to stay. He loved her. Always would. But even he could see they weren't working. Ever since Thanos, things had been dicey. He'd been trying, but not as much as he should have been. Distractions and diversions and excuses were the name of the game. Pepper finally gave up trying to pull him back in.</p><p>There were no arguments. No yelling. Just a discussion where they were both just - tired. Pepper said she was leaving. Tony didn't fight it. She said she was taking Morgan to live with her. He hadn't argued that either. He'd only asked that he be able to visit and see Morgan as often as he wanted. Pepper was fine with that.</p><p>Then she left.</p><p>Tony cried. He cried watching his life begin to crumble. He cried alone because he didn't have anyone else he was comfortable leaning on. Usually he'd lean on Pepper. Not this time.</p><p>Several times over the next couple weeks, he would stare at his phone, thinking about reaching out to Peter. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't dump his personal problems on Peter. The guy had enough going on with his recovery and keeping up with school. Not that Peter wouldn't help - that was the issue, he would. Tony knew it.</p><p>Instead, he did what he always did - buried his head in his projects until someone (Rhodey this time) came to drag him out of his funk and push him back into being a functioning member of society.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Rhodey's plan worked. Tony eventually dragged himself out of his pit of misery and went back to work. And it wasn’t the distracted, shutting everyone out version, either. It was the other one, where he was happily putting together things and even designing new products for the business side to work on. He wasn't all Avengers, all the time.</p><p>Now that May wasn't building the Great Wall of China brick by lying brick between Tony and Peter, he sent Happy to pick Peter up from school and bring him to the compound. There was a whole work station waiting there for Peter to express his genius.</p><p>Watching Peter's face light up when he realized he had his own space in Tony's workshop was probably his favorite part. The table was situated in a corner, with shelving along the back wall and side, and a cabinet to the other side for storing tools and such. He'd let Peter take his own self-guided tour around, with Peter asking dozens of questions the whole way. Some Tony answered. Some he made Peter figure out on his own.</p><p>The first thing Peter had said was 'Wait, you can't be serious.' And he had followed it up with 'Th-this is <em>mine</em>?' Tony had grinned brightly and assured him that he was both serious and that the workspace was, indeed, Peter's.</p><p>Tony was rewarded with that brilliant smile of Peter's that lit up the whole damned room. Then, a big rib-crushing hug. He smiled into Peter's hair. It felt really good to make Peter happy.</p><p>He'd told Peter the workstation was <em>his</em> area and he could keep whatever he needed there. Which meant there was immediately no less than three lidded containers for water - or whatever Peter was drinking - and a small collection of <em>Star Wars</em> action figures on one of the shelves. Tony was a little confused, but if it made the space feel like it was 'his' to Peter, that was all that mattered.</p><p>After that, he'd taken Peter over to the infirmary area for Bruce to have a look at his arm - see if they could figure out the spasms. They needed to know if it was something that could be cleared up or if it was some sort of permanent damage.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Tony looked up from the screen he'd been studying, disturbed by the sound of a hammer hitting metal. Peter was at his table disassembling a boot from an old model of the Iron Man armor. Tony wasn't sure the banging would accomplish much, but he'd leave the kid to figure it out on his own.</p><p>Peter's eyes had lit up like Christmas when Tony had suggested they come down to the workshop. Tony loved how eager Peter always was to spend time working on things.</p><p>He heard Peter muttering something at the boot he was working on and smiled to himself. Peter had been working diligently for nearly an hour. And he was clearly, stubbornly wanting to figure it all out on his own. Tony respected that. He didn't plan to interfere. That didn't mean he couldn't offer a nudge though, right?</p><p>Tony picked up a tool specific to most of his gear and tossed it across the workshop toward Peter. Spider reflexes had Peter snatching the object straight out of the air blind. Tony never got tired of that.</p><p>"What's this?" Peter asked over his shoulder.</p><p>"A hint," Tony said.</p><p>"Thought you weren't going to help?"</p><p>"I'll help all you want. You said you weren't going to ask. And you didn't. You're still good. Nothing wrong with a hint."</p><p>Peter made a face at the tool, then turned back to the boot. There was a copy of the same tool in the drawer of Peter's workstation - hell, there were at least half a dozen on this side of the shop alone - but Peter hadn't tried it yet. Tony'd gotten a little impatient.</p><p>What could he say, he wanted Peter to succeed.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Peter had figured out the boot and even fixed what had been wrong with it. It was just a cracked repulsor housing that Tony hadn't bothered to fix since he'd completed a newer set of armor by then.</p><p>Tony had been so proud. He'd let Peter work on some of his own projects after that. That had led to idle chit-chat, which turned into comfortable conversation. He learned a lot about Peter - <em>Empire</em> was his favorite of the <em>Star Wars</em> films; he wanted to cut the crusts off his sandwiches because he didn't like the taste, but he needed the extra calories and didn't like to waste food, so he left them on; despite being good at it and understanding its usefulness, he hated calculus.</p><p>"Pete - would you like an official internship here at Stark Industries?" Tony asked. He could set it up no problem. It'd be great.</p><p>"Um - well, yes, I'd love to. But I don't know that I have time with school and PT and therapy and, hopefully soon, getting back to Spider-Man. I - I don't think I can fit anything else in. But - thanks, Tony."</p><p>"Sure," he said. It was fine. Peter seemed far more upset about telling him 'no' than Tony was about being told 'no'. "You can still come play in the shop."</p><p>Peter nodded happily. "Oh, yeah. I know. Thanks."</p><p>Peter had been worried Tony was going to send him away; Tony could see it. That would never happen. After all that time May wouldn't let Peter visit, the door was now wide open.</p><p>Tony looked up to see Peter test something on the latest model of his web shooters. It gave him an idea - something he'd been planning for a bit to help with Peter and May's financial situation. It was stupid for them to have to worry about money when he had plenty to share. "Gonna set up your Avengers pay, Pete," he said conversationally.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Yup. Sort of a stipend really. Give your bank info to Pepper and we can set it up."</p><p>Peter put down the web shooters and the small screwdriver as he turned to face Tony. "But I'm not - I don't - you don't let me go on any missions."</p><p>"We will," Tony said. "Once you're back up to full strength."</p><p>"But, Tony - "</p><p>He smiled. "We're not paying you six figures, kid. Just a few grand a month. You've earned it."</p><p>Peter clearly didn't know what to say. So he seemed to settle on 'thank you' before turning back to his workstation. That was okay. Tony's goal was to make arrangements to pay Peter for his contributions to the Avengers. He deserved recognition.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>The day Peter brought brownies to share, Tony learned that Peter was a weirdo who liked the crispy edges instead of the fudge-y middle pieces. As weird as Peter thought Tony’s own preference was, he did point out it meant they could share the whole pan without fighting. Tony still thought his crunchy edge preference was wrong, but he was willing to allow it if it meant Peter wouldn't steal his middle brownies.</p><p>Along with the brownie thing, he found out Peter had a penchant for root beer. But it was only for very specific ones since becoming Spider-Man. Tony made sure FRIDAY added those specific brands to the regular grocery order. He wanted Peter to have things he liked when he came to the compound, because he knew Peter would never complain about what was stocked in the kitchen. Even if there was nothing he liked to eat, he would never say anything. Kid was too damned polite.</p><p>Tony liked it though. So many people had lost that politeness. That goodness. Not Peter.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Peter was concentrating really hard on whatever he was working on. Tony watched him for a moment before going back to his own design specs.</p><p>"Tony," Peter said without looking up from his work, "c-can we - can we talk?"</p><p>"While we're working? Sure," Tony answered. They had before.</p><p>"I mean - um - never mind." Then he went back to his project. Something was wrong. Or there was something Peter needed to talk about. Was it something he was worried would maybe look bad?</p><p>"Pete? Something going on?" Tony asked. He stopped what he was doing.</p><p>Peter's shoulders fell. "No," he lied. Then, when Tony didn't say anything, Peter mumbled, "I'm scared."</p><p>Tony's chest clenched. How the hell was he supposed to help with that? He pushed away from the desk and stood up. He crossed to Peter's station. "Hey," he said, resting a hand on Peter's shoulder. The kid turned and flung his arms around Tony's waist. Tony leaned his cheek against Peter's hair as he folded his arms over his back. "It's okay, Pete." He sighed softly. "Wanna talk about it?"</p><p>Peter shook his head. "Just - just hold me," he said softly and squeezed tighter.</p><p>With a grunt of something creeping past discomfort, "Hey, kid, ease up. I need those ribs."</p><p>"Sorry." His hold relaxed. "I - I don't want to save the world again. It's too much. It's too hard."</p><p>A soft chuckle bubbled in his chest. "Shouldn't come up again." Hopefully. "At least, not for a while. And we have lots of big heroes who can do the world-saving stuff now." He pulled back a bit. "Peter, what happened with Thanos, it isn't a regular thing. And if you'd been one second later, those stones would've been in my hand instead of yours."</p><p>"Yeah. That's the other scary part. If I hadn't been there, you'd probably be dead, Tony."</p><p>As much as he didn't want to admit it, Peter was probably right. That much radiation would have very likely killed him if he'd taken it directly. He'd actually planned for that scenario. "But that didn't happen, did it? No, a brave little spider swooped in and saved the day. And I can't say I'm not grateful. It wasn't the plan, but it still worked."</p><p>Peter took a deep breath and sighed as he leaned into Tony again. "Thanks, Tony."</p><p>"Always." He held the big hero against his chest for as long as he needed. If he could help it, Peter wouldn't face anything like that again. None of them would.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>They had more conversations like that. Peter started talking more about that day. He talked about how scared he'd been with the stones on his hand, staring at Tony, looking for answers. He talked about how he didn't even know how the stones were supposed to work, but he got super brief instructions directly from FRIDAY (rather than patched through Karen). Peter even explained how he'd almost been too scared to do it at all, to snap, but Tony was right there. Him and the rest of the Avengers, the sight of them, that was what had given Peter the strength.</p><p>"It was the first time I really felt like one of the team," he'd said. Not that there'd been many other opportunities, since Peter'd been gone for five years.</p><p>Tony gave Peter as much time as he could offer, just to let him talk. Obviously he needed it. Usually it was about the Thanos fight or his recovery, but sometimes it would be about something with his suit or his web shooters. Whatever it was, Tony gave him his full attention and support.</p><p>The side benefit was someone other than FRIDAY to bounce ideas off for his own projects. Peter didn't always know exactly what Tony was doing, but he would fire off ideas. Even if they didn't directly help, a lot of times they'd still push Tony in the right direction. Damn, the kid was smart.</p><p>Tony had been wanting to set up a sort of mini production and loading machine for Peter's web fluid and shooters. But then, it turned out that he didn't have to; Peter did it. Turns out, that was one of the projects he'd been working on the whole time.</p><p>Tony was so damned proud. And he made sure Peter knew how proud of him he was. This was something Howard had rarely, if ever, done for him. That dark, cold world wasn't something Tony was going to leave Peter in.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>May 2025</strong>
</p><p>He and Peter were sitting on the floor in front of the couch, finishing a pizza and who knows how many sodas. Tony was going to have to piss for an hour when he got up. There had been a movie playing while they ate, but it ended about an hour ago.</p><p>They'd been talking about a lot of things. Armor upgrades, some of the tests going on for working on Peter's arm, and a few other odds and ends had come up in the course of regular conversation. Mostly they talked about things they used to talk about, but hadn't recently, because of everything that had been going on. Tony was glad they had this back. He'd missed it a lot more than he'd thought.</p><p>"You decide where you're going to school?" he asked the little genius currently pondering doing a headstand.</p><p>"Somewhere that'll let me do an accelerated hybrid program, I think."</p><p>Tony smiled - this kid. "How fast are you trying to finish college?"</p><p>Peter was upside-down glaring at him. "I'm not. I'm planning like three doctorates."</p><p>That made Tony laugh. "Trying to catch Banner?"</p><p>Somehow Peter shrugged while inverted. "Maybe. But chem, physics, computer engineering. Maybe more. I dunno."</p><p>"Whatever you want - it's paid for." Tony emptied the bottle of soda in his hand. Second? Third? Too many. He should've switched to water two bottles ago for sure.</p><p>Peter did this sort of graceful fall to one side and sat up. "You don't have to do that, Tony. I can get scholarships."</p><p>"I know. From SI. Hell, finish your first degree, get a job here, SI may just pay you to do the others."</p><p>Peter shook his head. "Job aside, no preferential treatment."</p><p>"It's not. We do it all the time. It has to go through approvals and shit. I don't have anything to do with it."</p><p>"Doesn't mean people won't think that though."</p><p>"Fuck 'em." Tony tossed the empty bottle toward the equally empty pizza box. "Still didn't say where you’re thinking of going."</p><p>Peter shrugged again and did something only he and gymnasts could do without pulling something. "Haven't decided yet."</p><p>"Narrow it down at all?"</p><p>"Sure. Couple Ivys, some engineering places. I'll figure it out."</p><p>"Not MIT?"</p><p>Another shrug. "I applied, but dunno."</p><p>"It's okay if you don't go there, Peter."</p><p>"Oh, I know. But, I - well, I almost didn't even apply." The kid looked worried. "When - when we weren't talking…" he paused to swallow and take a sip from his own soda.</p><p>"What made you change your mind?" Obviously Peter had decided to apply after all. Tony's curiosity was piqued.</p><p>"One of the commencement speeches you did a few years ago. It popped up on YouTube one night. And I missed you so much that I just needed to hear your voice." Peter's own voice choked a little. "So, I hit 'play' and let it run. You said a lot of things about the work the students would do in the future and stuff. But what got me was when you talked about meeting your best friend there and how your lives took very different directions. And how you ended up working together despite that."</p><p>Tony blinked at Peter. "That speech was, shit, ten years ago? More? Right after I started the Iron Man gig."</p><p>Peter nodded back at him. "I know. It's from like 2009 or so. It's one of my favorites. I spent that whole night going through your speeches and lectures. Fell asleep to the playlist." He shrugged. "I really missed you and it was the closest thing I had."</p><p>He reached over to squeeze Peter's shoulder. "Sorry, Pete. Really. Sorry how all this went down. Is it better now?"</p><p>"Oh, the mental thing? Yeah. Therapy's been really good for straightening that out. Plus, I'm allowed to come over here now and stuff." Then he did a sort of cartwheel thing that had him landing with his knees to either side of Tony's thighs.</p><p>Tony glanced down, then back up. "What are you doing?"</p><p>Peter wiggled himself forward. Then leaned in to nip at the skin of his neck. Those warm, soft lips, and sharp teeth used so gently - under different circumstances, he'd probably enjoy it. But the timing on this was not good.</p><p>"Peter," he groaned. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It took every ounce of restraint not to let his hands settle at the young man's waist, even to lift him away. "Pete, I need you to stop."</p><p>Peter sat back and frowned at him. "Why?"</p><p>"Because if you don't, I'll probably get arrested."</p><p>The look on Peter's face made his guts twist. He hadn't meant to hurt him. That was the last thing he wanted.</p><p>Peter shoved Tony's shoulders and got to his feet. "You suck, Stark."</p><p>It was on the tip of his tongue to make a joke. He managed to keep it from spilling out. "Pete…"</p><p>"It's the age thing, isn't it? You know the age of consent in New York is seventeen, right?"</p><p>"Oh, how I wish I didn't," he muttered, eyes to the ceiling. Once upon a time, he was the guy who would find that out for personal reasons. "That doesn't change anything. This would only be marginally less problematic if you were eighteen. Or twenty."</p><p>"Right. Of course. I'm just a stupid kid. What do I know?" Peter started to walk away.</p><p>Tony knew if he got up, he'd have to haul ass to the bathroom. That much soda was way too much. So, he stayed on the floor. "Pete - it's a lot of things. The team. Your aunt - who is terrifying, by the way. And Morgan… and Pepper."</p><p>"I thought you broke up."</p><p>"We did. Divorce isn't final yet." This was not the time to get into a discussion about his own personal life.</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>Tony let his head fall back against the couch and sighed. "You should be out enjoying being a kid. Fucking around and getting drunk." Isn't that what kids did? It's what he'd done and he'd been much younger than Peter.</p><p>"Do I look like the 'fuck around and get drunk' type?" Peter asked indignantly. "Tony, I've been waiting for you to do something for two years."</p><p>Tony's whole face shifted. He could feel it. He was sure he looked horrified if the sudden stone in his gut was anything to go by. "Are you high?"</p><p>Peter rolled his eyes. "No. But I've had a crush on you for years." Peter's ears turned pink. "But, you were with Pepper."

</p><p>What the hell was he supposed to say to that? Even if he'd paid any attention to Peter's crush, he wouldn't have been able to act on it, Pepper or no Pepper. "I'm sorry, kid."</p><p>"Stop calling me 'kid'!" he growled. Followed it with a huff of breath. "So that's a 'no', huh? We're not doing this?"</p><p>Tony sighed. "We <em>can't</em> do this." He finally decided he couldn't stay on the floor any longer and pushed to his feet. Wincing at the incredible discomfort - he knew this would be bad - he caught Peter watching him. Yes, even Iron Man had to pee sometimes.</p><p>"Fine, Tony. Whatever. Are you okay?"</p><p>"Too much soda. So, unless…"</p><p>"No - go. Jeezus."</p><p>When Tony got back from the bathroom, Peter was gone. He'd cleaned up the pizza boxes and soda bottles before he'd left though, which was nice. Tony rubbed a hand over his face and leaned against the counter.</p><p>Sure, he'd known about Peter's crush. How could he not? The kid used to hang on his every word. His ego loved it, of course. But, it may have taken a nudge from Rhodey for him to actually realize it. So, he'd known, but he hadn't <em>known</em>. Because Tony hadn't wanted to know. Because then he'd have had to confront his own feelings and that would lead to any number of horrible outcomes given his past and, hell, his current approach to life.</p><p>Why would anyone want to live with that? Pepper had for a while, but even she had gotten tired of his bullshit. He didn't need to inflict himself on anyone else. Certainly not someone like Peter with miles of life ahead of him and so much joy to offer the world.</p><p>Tony pushed away from the counter and hauled his tired ass down the hall to the bedroom. If he was lucky, he'd be able to get some sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>May 2025</strong>
</p><p>Peter's stomach hurt. It hurt in that oily, horrible way that made everything feel wrong. He wanted to hide until he didn't feel like a complete imbecile anymore.</p><p>Why had he done that? Why had he ever thought he had any chance at all?</p><p>
  <em>Way to go, Peter. Congratulations on being the most inept idiot to ever attempt romance.</em>
</p><p>Were there any rocks nearby he could live under until everyone forgot how stupid he was? Maybe he could move to some really remote location and reinvent himself. He'd never be able to face Tony again. Not after that.</p><p>Peter had the car he'd taken from the compound drop him off at a little coffee shop a few blocks from home. He deserved a treat after today's crapfest.</p><p>He was just getting ready to go inside when he heard: "Hey, loser!"</p><p>Thankfully, it was MJ being her usual friendly self, and not someone like Flash trying to make his life suck more. He turned around, not bothering to even fake a smile, and greeted her, "Hey."</p><p>"Wow. I've seen down, but you - maybe 'miserable' is even too high."</p><p>"Thanks." He opened the door and waved for her to go first.</p><p>"Wanna talk about it?" she asked, eyes focused on the menu board behind the counter. While MJ was placing her order, Peter shrugged and stepped over to a case to look at the cookies.</p><p>He placed his order and stood aside to wait. Resigned, he sighed and said, "I - I tried to tell someone I liked them and - it - it didn't go well." And that was a seriously massive understating of the events.</p><p>"Oh. I'm sorry," she said and offered him a hug that he gratefully accepted. "Well, if they told you 'no', their loss. You're a loser nerd, but you're an awesome loser nerd."</p><p>"Uh, thanks? I think?" He wasn't really in the headspace for joking around. Hurt was probably underestimating his current state. Tony's rejection had crushed him.</p><p>"Want me to go punch 'em in the nose?" MJ offered.</p><p>Peter shook his head. "Not worth it and you'd just hurt your hand." About then, their orders came up and they grabbed their items before snagging a table by the window.</p><p>"You're not gonna tell me who it was are you?"</p><p>Another headshake. "No. Mostly, because it's way too embarrassing. I feel like such an idiot." He sighed again. His luck with girlfriends and boyfriends was so bad.</p><p>MJ sipped her frothy coffee. "We could still date if I wasn't moving for college."</p><p>He gave her the biggest smile he could muster and it was still pretty tiny. "Thanks. Prom was fun." And it had been. He really did like MJ and he would've liked to have kept dating her, but she was right - her college move would've put a lot of strain on anything they tried to do. Nevermind his devastating crush on Tony. What was wrong with him?</p><p>"It was," MJ agreed. "Seriously, if I wasn't leaving the country, we could work something out."</p><p>MJ was so pretty. And smart. And talented. He was really happy for her and the amazing opportunity she had to study abroad in some great art locales. At the same time, he would've liked having her as his girlfriend still too.</p><p>Peter nodded and crumbled part of his cookie on the plate. "Yeah. Gee, that sounds so bad: 'Oh, my girlfriend? We broke up because she left the country.' It's like 'She goes to another school' but worse."</p><p>MJ snorted a laugh and got foam on her nose. "Wow. This really got to you. You must really like whoever it was." She wiped her nose with a napkin.</p><p>Peter stared at the table. He really did. A lot. Now everything would be weird and awkward, and that was if he could even face Tony again after that. He pressed his lips together, then said. "Yeah. I really do."</p><p>MJ rested a hand over one of his. "You'll be okay. You'll find someone else and they'll be even more awesome. And they'll be great. Until then, wanna go to that place where you get to throw stuff and break it?"</p><p>The laugh-like sound he made was entirely involuntary. "Actually, that would be perfect."</p><p>They finished up at the coffee shop, then went down the street and spent a good hour throwing old china and glass at cinder block walls. Rather than assigning Tony's name to each piece, Peter assigned emotions. He went through and broke all the ones he felt. It was a lot more cathartic than he'd expected it to be.</p><p>Before they went their separate ways, Peter gave MJ a big hug and a 'thank you' for the company. By the time he reached the apartment, he was burning the last of his energy reserves and needed to sit down. He collapsed on the couch and almost immediately fell asleep.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>The dream Peter had almost made him feel worse. He'd dreamed of running into Tony somewhere in the city and of him apologizing for rejecting Peter. Then they'd gone on a sort of date - it was a dream, so things kind of blended together, but there had definitely been dinner. And when dream!Tony had dropped him off, he'd given him a kiss that was warm and teasing. Peter wouldn't necessarily call it his dream date, but it was a nice dream that was miles better than reality had been.</p><p>When he woke up, he felt like crap. His mouth was dry and sticky and his head hurt. There was a note on the table from May letting him know there was dinner in the fridge. She'd placed a glass of water beside the note.</p><p>"Thanks, May," he whispered to himself and picked up the glass to take a couple sips. He pushed a hand back over his hair and rubbed at the back of his neck.</p><p>Even after a brief nap, everything still sucked. Tony had said 'no'. And, Peter still felt like a colossal idiot for even trying. He wasn't cool. Or suave. Or super sexy and attractive. No one threw themselves at his feet - not like they did to Tony. He should've known better, right?</p><p>Being super smart and able to fire banter back clearly wasn't enough. Peter sighed and finished his glass of water. He washed the glass and set it on the drainboard before heading to his room to go to bed. Maybe he'd wake up in a world where he wasn't a complete romantic failure.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>June 2025</strong>
</p><p>While Peter had made an absolute and utter ass of himself with Tony, he was getting over it. Mostly. He still caught himself with thoughts like 'Idiot, Peter. Total idiot. Never do that again.' And 'What the hell were you even thinking?' But they weren't as frequent.</p><p>Instead of focusing on his complete failure with Tony, he zeroed in on things like his appointments lined up with Bruce about his arm, homework, and college acceptance letters. He pretty much had his pick of schools. He'd tacked all of the letters up on the cork board above his desk. Then he made notes about each school - reasons to attend, reasons not to attend. MIT was back in the running for the moment, along with Columbia and Stanford. He'd choose eventually. He still had some time.</p><p>Until then, Peter had finals and graduation to look forward to. He wondered sometimes: would being the guy who saved the world get him out of finals, if only he could tell everyone?</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Tired of sitting around the apartment, Peter put on his Spider-Man suit and crawled out the window and up to the roof. Just getting that far along made him feel better. For his first endurance test, he got a running start and leapt to the roof on the next building over. As he landed, the momentum carried him into a forward roll. He came up on his feet and sighed happily. God, it felt so good.</p><p>His ears perked up at the sound of the bus rumbling down the street. <em>Good,</em> Peter thought. He could get a ride across the river. He wanted to swing around Manhattan. He liked it over there with all the tall buildings.</p><p>After a quick flip off the roof to land him on top of the bus, he was on his way. The ride was pretty typical. Along the way, he sent a text to May saying that he was going out for a bit and he'd be back in a couple hours. It was still early; he'd be okay.</p><p>Once into Manhattan proper, Peter spotted his usual kick-off point and fired off a web to swing his way through. He connected to the next building, and the next, swinging his way down the block the same as he'd done hundreds of times before.</p><p>It was the most amazing feeling in the world. He felt the air beneath him as he moved. He felt the rush as he swooped low enough to almost touch the cars. Peter even reveled in the people who waved as he went by. He loved all of it. And he felt really good - energized even - moving around the city.</p><p>That was why he was so surprised when his fingers missed the web he'd sent out for the next building and he found himself in a free fall. Peter tried to get a web out to another part of the building to stop himself and get back on track, but all of his calculations seemed off and his head was starting to throb.</p><p>He must have hit his head on something on the way down, because he never felt himself even hit the ground.</p><p>When Peter came to, everything hurt and he was being jostled more than was comfortable. There was a clanking metallic sound in his ears that didn't seem right. He groaned and opened his eyes. He still had his mask on, so that was good. But his feet weren't moving and everything was kind of sideways. So how was he... he turned his head and - huh?</p><p>"Tony?" he said groggily.</p><p>"Hang tight, kid. Almost there."</p><p>"M'not a kid," he mumbled, and passed out again.</p><p>Somewhere between that and his bed, he was alert enough to hear May say 'Oh, thank god.'</p><p>When he woke up - actually woke up (he could tell because of the pounding headache) - there was a blurry figure sitting by his bed. He blinked a couple times to bring the figure into focus. It was Tony.</p><p>Peter groaned. "What happened?" he mumbled.</p><p>Tony's voice was surprisingly soft and gentle when he answered. "From what I could piece together from the broken clips from Karen, you went out playing hero and tried to take out someone's balcony with your head."</p><p>"Oh, that's what I hit," he groaned, pressing a hand to the back of his head where he could feel a bit of bruising.</p><p>"Wanna talk about it?" Tony asked.</p><p>Peter shrugged and explained to Tony why he'd left and what he was doing. He was surprised by how not-angry at him Tony was. He was still pretty groggy through most of it, so Peter wasn't sure what all he was telling Tony before he leaned back and went back to sleep. But he did remember asking Tony to sit and talk to him until he drifted off.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>It had been a surprise, and Peter had almost sent them back, but Tony had given him three plane tickets so he, Ned, and MJ could go to the beach after graduation 'like everyone else'. He'd texted Tony and tried to tell him it wasn't necessary. He'd even tried to give it all back - but Tony wouldn't hear of it. In fact, Peter had handed the details to Happy and told him to tell Tony 'thanks, but no thanks'... to which Happy had turned around and handed everything right back to Peter saying that he wasn't allowed to return the tickets, in light of the vacation details, which Happy also relayed to Peter. Everything was in Peter and his friends' names, so it was all useless to Tony.</p><p>Aunt May was the one who finally convinced him to accept the gift and go on the trip. So, he, Ned, and MJ had all gone to the beach with the others from their class who were also going. Peter still felt weird about it, but resolved to have fun on the first real vacation he'd had in years.</p><p>The trip was amazing. They spent most of their time on the beach, hanging out, talking, swimming, and constructing elaborate things in the sand. They went to a couple parties, but mostly stayed on the 'relaxing' side of vacationing. And Peter didn't have to be Spider-Man even once during the entire trip.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>July 2025</strong>
</p><p>"Hey, you pick a school yet?" Ned asked, shoving clothes under his bed.</p><p>Peter shrugged. "Still working on it."</p><p>"You know you don't have to choose your college based on proximity to Tony Stark, right?" Ned said insightfully, if not tactfully.</p><p>Peter frowned. "That's not - not a factor." But it so was. Or, it had been for a while. He'd planned to avoid MIT when he'd thought Tony was deliberately trying to distance himself from him. He'd applied anyway out of curiosity. It's an amazing school with the programs he wanted, like other schools, but it also had the big connection to Tony. The irony was not lost on him that the connection to Tony was both his reason to want to go there and his reason to <em>not</em> want to go there.</p><p>"No?" Ned nudged.</p><p>"No," Peter replied and even he could tell that wasn't convincing.</p><p>Ned gave Peter a look. "Best friend here. You've had a thing for him for a while."</p><p>"What? No."</p><p>"Dude, your whole - everything - changes when you talk about him. Even when you're mad at him. It's kinda cute."</p><p>Peter wanted to crawl into a very deep hole. "Oh my god, shut up!" he said, shoving Ned's shoulder.</p><p>Ned wasn't wrong. But Peter hadn't really thought about it that way. Well, obviously he'd thought about how he felt about Tony since he'd tried to kiss him. But he hadn't really dug into it all that deeply.</p><p>Peter sighed. "It doesn't matter. He's not even remotely interested back."</p><p>"What?" Ned's eyebrows went up and he turned from the closet he was pretending to clean. "How do you know? Wait, did you kiss him?"</p><p>Peter's whole face heated and he wished he could slap his hands over his ears without looking ridiculous. "Never got that far," he muttered.</p><p>"What? How? When?"</p><p>All very good questions. "About a month and a half ago."</p><p>"And you didn't tell me? Wait - is that why he gave us that trip to the beach?"</p><p>"Tell you what? That I tried to hit on Tony Stark and crashed and burned so hard the black box was the only survivor? No thanks." Peter smirked. That pretty much was exactly why Tony had given them that trip. And why Peter had tried so hard to give it back.</p><p>"You know the black boxes are really..."</p><p>"Ned."</p><p>"Sorry. Sorry. Wow. Bad, huh?"</p><p>Peter nodded solemnly. He'd really rather not think about it. It had been super embarrassing. Mortifying, even. Tony hadn't even been mean. Maybe that was worse? Either way, he felt like an idiot.</p><p>"Sorry, dude. So, what are you gonna do?" Ned asked, yanking a heavy coat out of the closet and tossing it on the bed.</p><p>"About what?"</p><p>"Tony."</p><p>Peter offered a shrug. "Nothing. I've got lots of other things to worry about." He frowned in confusion at Ned's closet. "Like why you have my sweatshirt. I've been looking for that." He tugged the garment free from the over-stuffed closet pile.</p><p>"Oh. Huh. Must've gotten shoved in there when I cleaned my room. I meant to give it back."</p><p>"Uh huh," Peter said, smirking playfully.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>The dinner invitation had come as a huge surprise to Peter. Why was Tony taking him to dinner? His first thought was a very hopeful 'maybe it's a date?' But a follow-up message indicated it was some kind of make-up birthday thing. Which - okay. Sure.</p><p>It sounded nice. Tony had even picked him up in one of the convertibles - showing off, of course. Peter didn't really mind. Then the ball dropped. Tony apologized for the whole not-quite-kissing fiasco of failure. Peter had really been trying to forget that whole 'incident' had ever happened and here was Tony bringing it all back up again.</p><p>All of the conversation after they'd ordered was stilted and weird until Tony said 'Does this mean we're friends again?' He heard Tony almost holding his breath waiting for a response. That gave Peter quite a bit of information - Tony was actually worried about their friendship. It wasn't exactly what Peter was after, but he'd accept that if it was all Tony was willing to offer. Didn't mean he wouldn't give the guy shit though. For a little bit.</p><p>He felt a lot better after their dinner. Less awkward, for sure. He was even comfortable enough to give Tony a hug before they got back in the car for Tony to drive him home. Tony didn't get out of the car to walk Peter up to the apartment (he hadn't been expecting that), but he also didn't feel rushed while they were parked on the street for a couple minutes, just chatting about some upcoming plans.</p><p>Peter stepped out of the car and waved as Tony pulled away. Tony waved back. That was a good sign.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>August - September 2025</strong>
</p><p>May had helped him get all moved into his dorm and settled. She hugged him about a million times, tried not to cry, failed at not crying, and finally hugged him again, having apparently decided she'd gotten enough hugs that she could safely leave.</p><p>"I love you. Be careful. And call me if you need anything, okay?" she said.</p><p>Peter nodded. "I will. I love you too." He watched her go, and waved to her from his dorm window until she had to turn around to cross the road.</p><p>He'd met his roommate earlier. Peter thought he seemed pretty cool. His name was Marcus. He was from Chicago, had dark skin and dark hair, was a few inches taller than Peter, and was super friendly. He had been running to meet his sister for lunch or he would've stayed to help Peter move in. Peter liked him already.</p><p>He finished unpacking and arranging his stuff on his side of the room, then headed out to the quad to meet some people and see what was going on.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>About three weeks later, Peter came back from his afternoon class to find he had a visitor. He frowned in confusion more than anything else. "Tony? What are you - what are you doing here?" He felt his face working its way into a smile.</p><p>Tony smiled at him and tucked his phone away. "I was in the area, thought I'd stop by."</p><p>Peter unlocked his door. "How'd you find my room?"</p><p>The grin on Tony's face was smarmy and revealing. Peter just shook his head.</p><p>"That's creepy, you know? And probably breaks some laws." He opened the door and waved Tony in.</p><p>Tony laughed and stepped into the dorm room. "I got it from Happy. Your privacy's safe."</p><p>Peter watched Tony size up the small room. He could almost hear the man's thoughts - 'were the rooms this small when I was here?', 'have they really not changed the wall color since then?', and 'at least the carpet's been replaced.'</p><p>Peter dropped his backpack on the floor then sat on the edge of the bed. "So, what's going on?"</p><p>"Hmmm? Oh," Tony turned and held something out for Peter. "Brought you a new phone. It's not indestructible, so don't drop it from the top of a building or something."</p><p>Spider-Man reference. He hadn't dropped his phone swinging around since - uh, last week. Whoops. "Tony - you - you don't have to buy me a phone. You already covered school."</p><p>"I didn't <em>buy</em> you a phone. I <em>made</em> you a phone. Stark Tech. No one else has one like that."</p><p>Peter gaped at Tony. "You made me a one-of-a-kind phone just because?"</p><p>"Sure," Tony said as casually as if he'd handed Peter a napkin.</p><p>Peter handed the phone back. "Thank you, but I can't."</p><p>Tony frowned. He almost looked hurt. "Why not?"</p><p>"Because." He swallowed over his dry throat. "Because it's too much. I feel weird. It's - I - " How was he supposed to explain this?</p><p>Apparently Tony had a counter-argument: "You're an Avenger. You get a phone. Everyone on the team has one. Even Rogers, who spent two days trying to figure it out. Consider it a work phone you get to use as your personal phone. Your number's already ported to it. And it interfaces beautifully with Karen. FRIDAY too, if necessary."</p><p>"Tony, someone is going to steal this thing."</p><p>"I should be appalled at your lack of faith. First, you aren't going to lose it because you won't let it out of your sight." That seemed like more of a command than a safety feature. "Second, it won't work for anyone but you or me. It's not hackable."</p><p>"You thought that about my suit too."</p><p>Another frown. "Come on, Pete. Do you really think if I wanted to lock you out I couldn't?"</p><p>Good point. And another point in the ‘making his own suits column’ for Peter. "Fine. Fine. Super Special Spider phone. Got it. Thank you." This all still made him nervous. He kept feeling like he owed Tony something.</p><p>He watched Tony draw out the desk chair and sit on it backwards. Peter hadn't quite mastered how to do that and look suave. But Tony had. Hell, Tony looked suave doing almost everything.</p><p>"Think of it as part of your Avengers salary," Tony said pointing at the phone.</p><p>"I thought that was the tuition payments."</p><p>"That's a scholarship," he corrected. "I'm not paying if you start failing."</p><p>"Right. Got it." He folded one leg up on the bed. "Why are you really here?"</p><p>"I told you - I was in town. Had a business thing over in Boston. Thought I'd swing by. Would you rather I didn't?"</p><p>Peter shook his head. "No. Come by whenever you want!" There was silence for a few seconds. It felt longer. Stilted, but not uncomfortable. "Um - did you want something to drink? I think we have water, Powerade, and root beer."</p><p>"I'm good. Thanks. So, how are classes going?"</p><p>Was it just him, or was this kind of awkward? Was Tony trying to small talk his way to something? "Um - they're good. The math is all super easy right now, but I think that will change soon." He looked at Tony. "You didn't come here to ask me about my classes."</p><p>"No. I didn't. I did come here to see how you're doing though."</p><p>"Good. My roommate's pretty cool. And I'm making some new friends."</p><p>"Yeah? Nice. Still keeping up with your old ones?"</p><p>Peter smiled. "Of course. Though, I think MJ's going to do a lot of her undergrad in either Europe or South America. Studying all the artists and stuff."</p><p>Peter watched Tony for a bit. Something occurred to him when he did. Was Tony lonely? Tony and Pepper had split up - they were still friendly as far as Peter knew, but no more than that. The other Avengers were kinda busy and had their own lives, he imagined. And then Peter had trucked off to MIT. It wasn't super far from New York, but it wasn't as close as Queens. So, maybe the compound was a little empty. Maybe Tony <em>was</em> lonely. Peter could help with that.</p><p>"D - do you want to get lunch or something?" Peter asked, breaking the silence that had settled between them.</p><p>Tony blinked up at him. "Yeah. Let's do that. You find anywhere good to eat yet? Or am I going to have to show you around?"</p><p>"I'd love for you to show me around!" He would gladly give Tony the opportunity to play tour guide.</p><p>For the next few hours, that's what they did. Tony showed Peter where his favorite pizza place used to be - it burnt down two years ago. The good bar that was shaky about carding. The terrible bar that didn't care. The hamburger place that was still there, but had changed owners, so Tony wasn't sure if the food was still as good as before. And the frozen yogurt shop that was now one of too many to count coffee shops, but was where Tony had met one of his girlfriends.</p><p>Peter loved every second of it. He didn't even care that they hadn't gotten to lunch yet. This was what he wanted - spending time with Tony. When they finally went to lunch, Tony took him to an amazing little steak house. Peter made a half-assed offer to split the check just to see Tony smirk at him and refuse.</p><p>As they walked back toward Peter's dorm, he asked, "How long are you in town?"</p><p>"Just today. Morgan and I have a dinner date tomorrow."</p><p>Peter smiled. "Definitely don't want to break that date."</p><p>"Never." Tony pointed to Peter's building. "This is you, right?"</p><p>"Yeah. Thanks for lunch. And the tour. And, just let me know when you're in town and wanna stop by. As long as I'm not in class or whatever…"</p><p>"Got it. May be a couple months. I'm sure someone has scheduled me for something."</p><p>Peter realized they were both stalling. He stepped up and hugged Tony. "Safe trip back."</p><p>"Always," Tony said, hugging back briefly. "See ya."</p><p>Peter nodded and took several backward steps toward his dorm. He waved to Tony, then turned to go inside. He didn't turn back around until after he got through the door. He saw Tony heading for the parking lot. He smiled to himself and went upstairs to his room.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>March 2026</strong>
</p><p>Every couple months, Tony would visit MIT and stop in to see Peter. Tony always said he was in Boston for business things and stopped in on his way home. But by the middle of the spring semester, Peter was pretty sure it wasn't always business.</p><p>He didn't call Tony on it though. It was kind of adorable that Tony clearly wanted to see him, but couldn't just come out and say so. So Peter indulged him.</p><p>The visits were nice and relaxing. They'd walk around Cambridge, usually have lunch or dinner - always someplace different. Then, they'd hang out somewhere and just talk. That was probably his favorite part.</p><p>"So, I've been seeing this guy," Peter said when Tony asked how things were going. They stopped to sit on a bench in the quad.</p><p>"Yeah? He nice?"</p><p>Peter nodded, smiling. "He is. I took him to that pizza place you and I found back in the fall. Loved it. The pizza is so good. You know, for non-New York."</p><p>Tony was quiet for a moment, like he was thinking of what to say next. "What's he look like?"</p><p>Peter drew out his phone and pulled up his photos. He skimmed through a few until he landed on the image of the nicely tanned, dark-haired young man. "His name's Carlos. He's from California. He wants to build rockets and spaceships for NASA or something."</p><p>Tony made a sort of confirmation sound - more an acknowledgment of receipt of information than anything else.</p><p>Peter frowned and put his phone away. "What's wrong? Do you not approve of the person I've gone to lunch with twice and am trying to get to know?" Hadn't Tony's reaction been similar a few months back with the girl Peter had gone out with a couple times?</p><p>"What? No. I - I don't know the kid. No opinion at all right now. Maybe leaning good if he's good to you."</p><p>What the hell was wrong with Tony? "Are you okay?"</p><p>"Fine. What else you got going on?"</p><p>"Classes. Labs. Projects. How about you? I feel like I've been doing all the talking."</p><p>"Nothing new. Upgrades. Patches. Dum-E breaking things. Morgan trying to teach him to count. The usual."</p><p>Peter pressed his lips together. He took a breath. "Have - have I done something wrong?" He was getting the weirdest vibe from Tony.</p><p>"No," Tony said with a frown. "Why?"</p><p>"Spidey-senses."</p><p>Tony frowned more. "Thought that only picked up evil. Bad guys."</p><p>Peter nodded. "It does. But I'm definitely getting something. That was the most reaction from you in the last half hour. What's up? Either I've done something or Friday's got your ear."</p><p>"It's not you, Pete. I'm sorry." He rubbed his fingers over his eyes.</p><p>"If you don't wanna talk, we don't have to. I just like spending time with you." He nudged his shoulder against Tony's. "I can just sit here and tell you all about the refinements I've made to my web formula."</p><p>"Are you sneaking chemicals out of the lab?"</p><p>"Don't have to. I can get most of it online."</p><p>"Or you can come back to HQ and use the lab."</p><p>"During my next break, I will. I'm stuffing as many classes into my schedule as I can."</p><p>Tony stretched his legs out in front of him. "You gonna stay in school forever?"</p><p>Peter laughed. "No. Just have a few things I wanna do."</p><p>"Don't burn yourself out." Tony's phone beeped. He glanced at it, then got to his feet. "Gotta go. Sorry."</p><p>"Iron Man stuff?"</p><p>Tony shook his head. "Stark stuff. See ya."</p><p>"Bye, Tony."</p><p>Peter's roommate walked up and sat down where Tony'd just been. "Was that your dad?"</p><p>Peter smiled. "No. Friend of mine."</p><p>"Is he one of those creepy types who's forgotten he graduated and keeps coming back to hang with the younger crowd to look cool?"</p><p>"No," Peter said, laughing. "He has no problems looking cool. He lives in New York. Has his own company. Went to school here though."</p><p>Marcus made a face. "When? In the sixties?"</p><p>"Geez, man, he's not that old. And he graduated here at seventeen."</p><p>"Damn. I thought we were big nerds."</p><p>Peter grinned. "We are. He just has a bigger brain."</p><p>"Gonna let me meet him someday?"</p><p>Peter shrugged. "Maybe. It's not really up to me." He pushed to his feet. "And now, homework. My favorite," he said as he turned to head back toward the dorm.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>June 2025</strong>
</p><p>"Mr. Stark, I need your help," May Parker said when he answered the phone.</p><p>She'd gotten past his security protocols, so it had to be something important. "Ms. Parker," he said.</p><p>"Peter hasn't come home." Her voice was calm and steady, but he could tell she was hiding a lot of her worry.</p><p>"He's not here." And he hadn't gotten any alerts from FRIDAY to let him know Peter was in trouble.</p><p>There was a tired sigh. "I know," she said quietly. "He went out. It's been five hours, Mr. Stark."</p><p>"Please, call me Tony," he said. The formality seemed odd at this point. "Have you checked in with… his friends?" He'd suddenly forgotten the names of any of Peter's friends.</p><p>"He went out as Spider-Man," she said.</p><p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p><p>"Not unusual, but he's been gone longer than he's typically out. And he's still recovering." She was quiet for a moment. "Tony, please?"</p><p>He closed his eyes and scratched at the back of his neck. How much of this was his fault? Going along with May's original request, for one thing. Keeping Peter at arm's length for another. Pushing him away… Hell, dragging Peter into his world at all.</p><p>Tony heaved a sigh that he tried to keep from registering through the phone. He wasn't annoyed, not at anyone but himself. "I'll find him."</p><p>"Bring him home, please."</p><p>"Stay by the phone. I'll have him back as soon as I can."</p><p>"Thank you, Tony."</p><p>"Thank me when I get him back." He already had his suit rolling into place as he disconnected the call. "FRIDAY, what ya got for me?"</p><p>"Scanning the city. The usual spots for Spider-Man's patrols. And the last ping from Karen, boss."</p><p>"Thanks. Keep me updated." He rocketed off out of the building to zoom over the city.</p><p>The last ping from Peter's suit had been near Tompkins Square Park. Tony headed in that direction first. He wasn't sure what had happened that he could no longer ping Karen, which only made him more nervous.</p><p>If Peter was hurt…</p><p>Tony forced himself not to focus on that. His first task was to find Peter.</p><p>FRIDAY was scanning as Tony flew over the city. The HUD pinged a familiar signature and he swooped in that direction. Landing in the alley, he found Peter, unconscious in the shadows.</p><p>Tony lifted the young man into his arms - "Hang tight, Spidey," - and took off into the sky to take him home.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>"Oh thank god," May said as she opened the door, hands to her mouth as she took in the scene of Iron Man holding her nephew and carrying him into the apartment.</p><p>"He'll be okay," Tony told her after his mask rolled down. He'd had FRIDAY send scans to Bruce to be sure. And he'd do them again after he got Peter out of the suit just as a precaution.</p><p>May nodded nervously. "Do - do you need help getting that off him?"</p><p>Tony put Peter down on the bed. "No, it's made to come off," he said and pressed the spider symbol on Peter's chest to release the suit. "I need to get scans for my doctor once I get him out of it," he explained while he slid Peter's arms and legs free and put his mask back up. The mask folded away again when FRIDAY alerted him the scans were complete. He turned back to May. "He probably has a very mild concussion and some bruises, but he'll be okay. The new suit did what I designed it to do, but he needs to rest. Let him know I'll talk to him later?" he asked as he turned to leave Peter's room.</p><p>"Tony, wait. I think he'd like it if you stayed."</p><p>He stopped in the doorway. "And you?" He didn't want to stay where he wasn't wanted.</p><p>She smiled at him, a little sadly. "I'd like it if you stayed too. Sit with him."</p><p>Tony nodded. "Sure." The invitation was a surprise, but he was grateful. He didn't want to leave before Peter woke up. He put a hand on May's shoulder. "You should get some sleep - a nap at least. I'll take the first shift sitting with him. You can relieve me when you wake up."</p><p>"Oh, that's a good idea. There's coffee in the kitchen if you want any." She fussed with Peter's blankets, making sure he seemed to be all tucked in and comfortable, then she ducked out of Peter's room. Tony watched her go, she seemed tired, nervous, but also releived.</p><p>Tony pulled out Peter's desk chair and took a seat. He wasn't sure how long Peter was going to be out, so he settled in to hang for a bit.</p><p>When Peter stirred, Tony leaned forward, waiting for him to wake up. "Wanna talk about it?" he asked a few beats into the conversation.</p><p>"Tired of being cooped up. Miss being Spider-Man."</p><p>"You scared the shit out of your aunt."</p><p>"I told her I was going out." Peter pressed a hand to his forehead and tried to sit up more. Tony got up to help.</p><p>"Not for five hours. May wasn't really worried until hour four. Then she called me."</p><p>Peter blinked hard and frowned. "She called <em>you</em>?"</p><p>"Shocked me too. You should get some rest though. You hit your head pretty hard."</p><p>"Sure. When do I get yelled at?" Peter asked, scooting back down into his pillows.</p><p>Tony frowned at Peter. "For what? Getting hurt? You won't. It happens." He spent a few more minutes reassuring Peter that he wasn't in trouble, he wasn't getting kicked out of the Avengers, and that, yes, he really did need to go back to sleep. And they could talk about the suit later.</p><p>"Tony... Can - can you stay until I fall asleep?" Peter asked as Tony got up from the chair.</p><p>"What, just sit here?"</p><p>"You can talk if you want. Read something." Then he added quietly, "I - I just like the sound of your voice."</p><p>Tony lowered himself back into the chair. It took a couple minutes, but he began to read a recent set of briefing notes. Peter tossed him a soft little smirk as he settled down and pulled up his blankets.</p><p>What the hell had Peter been doing? Had he been trying to prove something? Tony passed a hand over his hair. Of course he had. <em>Dammit, Stark.</em> Peter wanted to show him that he wasn't a kid anymore.</p><p>And he had. How many kids would jump in, terrified, and save the world, not knowing if they'd make it through to the other side? Peter wasn't a kid anymore. The team needed to let him sit at the adult table, even if he wasn't ready for his own missions yet.</p><p>"How's he doing?" May asked as Tony pulled the door to Peter's room closed.</p><p>"He's asleep. But he'll be fine." He slid his phone into a pocket and his glasses onto his nose. "I've gotta go. Tell him I said 'bye'."</p><p>"Thank you, Tony," May said to him as he started out of Peter's bedroom.</p><p>He nodded back. "For what?"</p><p>She smiled softly at him. "For finding him and bringing him home."</p><p>"You're welcome." He waited a beat, then saw himself out of the apartment. Was there something else he should have done? He'd been surprised by May's initial call. That wasn't an emergency contact list he'd ever expected to be on.</p><p>He was glad she had though, for Peter's sake and that of his secret identity. He'd check in on Peter later, after he'd gotten some sleep himself.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>July 2025</strong>
</p><p>Tony wanted to do more for Peter, but between school and therapy, Peter's time was pretty lean and Tony didn't want to monopolize it. Not that he wouldn't, if given the chance. But he knew Peter still needed rest as well as time with his friends.</p><p>But Tony needed to do something.</p><p>
  <em>What do you want for dinner?</em>
</p><p>[May's making spaghetti.]</p><p>
  <em>that wasn't the question.</em>
</p><p>[no, but that's what we're having. did you wanna come over?]</p><p>God, this kid. He almost said yes. Almost. <em>no - wanna take you out for your birthday.</em></p><p>[Tony - my birthday isn't until next month]</p><p>
  <em>making up for the ones I didn't do. we can go tomorrow if better.</em>
</p><p>[um - maybe…]</p><p>Tony shook his head - Peter had actually sent the 'um'.</p><p>[…sorry, had to check my schedule. if u can bring me home from PT - tomorrow's better. I don't want to impose - so it's okay if you can't]</p><p>Peter always sounded like he thought he would get in trouble for asking for things. Or existing. Some of that might have been Tony's fault. He'd work on fixing that too.</p><p>
  <em>not a problem at all - we'll do dinner after your PT. i'll get you back home</em>
</p><p>[oh - ok - awesome]</p><p>
  <em>think about where you wanna go - anywhere. anything you want</em>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Tony picked Peter up and drove them to the burger place he'd picked after Peter had said that's what he was in the mood for. It was a little hole-in-the-wall place in Brooklyn. It was a place Tony had been to before, but not for quite some time.</p><p>Once their orders were in, the table was sort of awkwardly quiet for a little bit. Then Tony broke the silence with, "So - happy birthday. For the ones I missed and the one coming up."</p><p>"Thank you," Peter said back, sipping his water. Tony thought he looked a little awkward or nervous.</p><p>"If you're worried, this isn't all of this year's birthday."</p><p>Peter frowned at him. "You don't owe me anything for my birthday, Tony."</p><p>"I know. But I want to. I also want to apologize for the way I handled that situation between us a few weeks back."</p><p>"What situation?" Peter looked really confused. Then his face shifted, his eyes went wide, and his whole face turned red. He looked like he wanted to bolt. "Please, Tony." His voice was rough, catching. "I - can we just not?"</p><p><em>Shit.</em> How to smooth this over so it wasn't a raging train wreck… Tony took a sip from his own water glass, then leaned his forearms on the table. "Hey, I'm not trying to dredge up bad feelings or rehash anything. I wanted you to know that I know I handled it badly. And that my follow-up was a little -"</p><p>"Confusing?" Peter prompted.</p><p>"Well - maybe." Tony was stumbling and he hated that. He could usually smooth talk his way out of just about anything.</p><p>Peter sighed a little. "Tony, you gave me a trip to the beach with my friends."</p><p>"As a graduation gift."</p><p>"Yeah, but -" Peter was quiet for a second, maybe gathering his thoughts, maybe working out phrasing, "- it also kind of felt like you were sending me away so you didn't have to think about it."</p><p>It was Tony's turn to frown. "I - what? You graduated high school and you'd all but finished all your physio and you'd recovered from your… other injury. I thought you deserved a vacation. I wanted to help. You tried to give it back eleven times."</p><p>"Three," Peter muttered.</p><p>"Pete -"</p><p>"Look, Tony, I get it. I'm not a kid. I can handle it. You don't have to apologize."</p><p>Tony sat back a little. "I don't have to, but I am. I want you to feel comfortable coming to work in the lab and hanging out at the facility with the rest of us. I don't want it to be awkward for anyone. We're a team."</p><p>"Sure. Okay. Apology accepted. Thank you." Peter still seemed kind of stiff and uncertain.</p><p>"Does this mean we're friends again?" Tony asked in an attempt to lighten the mood. Peter was so serious right now.</p><p>"Were we suddenly not friends recently? I mean, you carried me up four flights of stairs and read me meeting notes while I was concussed."</p><p>For a second he wasn't sure if things were good, then Peter's silly little shy smile made an appearance and Tony had to laugh. "You're heavier than you look, you know."</p><p>"Oh, I see - Iron Man's a big wimp."</p><p>"You take that back right now."</p><p>Peter shook his head. "Nope. I'm gonna use my birthday money to buy a billboard declaring Iron Man a big baby."</p><p>Tony was sure they'd be just fine.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>August 2025</strong>
</p><p>Tony sat at a workbench, breaking down an old gauntlet from one of his suits. He didn't have much reason to mess with it, other than sheer boredom. No, that was a lie. This was the first piece of armor he'd let Peter tinker with once he'd let him into the lab.</p><p>The kid - he needed to stop doing that - had spent hours taking it apart and putting it back together trying to figure out what Tony had 'broken' on it. He'd made sure to keep a random pattern between simple fixes and more complicated ones. Peter had fixed every damned one of them. Every one.</p><p>Tony had been so proud. Especially the time he came in to check Peter's work and not only had Peter fixed what was 'broken', he'd actually modified the gauntlet and made it more efficient. It was similarly done to one Tony had made himself on a later model, but done in a slightly different way.</p><p>Peter was so damned smart. Tony couldn't wait for him to graduate and go to work saving the world. He had positions available at SI if Peter wanted to work there.</p><p>For now, he held up the half-disassembled gauntlet, studying it. Peter hadn't even chipped any of the paint through all of his repairs. The only paint nicks were from Tony's use of the suit.</p><p>"Boss," FRIDAY alerted him, "Miss Potts is on the phone for you."</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Tony sank into a chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. A moment later, a small person was clambering into his lap and leaning against his chest. "Hey, pumpkin."</p><p>"Why are you sad, daddy?" Morgan asked him.</p><p>"I miss my friend."</p><p>"Oh. Does your friend know that?"</p><p>He kissed her head. "I don't know."</p><p>"You should tell them. That's what I do."</p><p>"Yeah. I should do that. Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"</p><p>Morgan shrugged innocently.</p><p>"Yes, she is," Pepper answered as she came through the front door. She accepted a big hug from Morgan, who then promptly scurried off to bed.</p><p>"She was great tonight," Tony said.</p><p>"Good. Thanks for filling in on short notice, Tony."</p><p>"Anytime." He shoved himself out of the chair. "I ever tell you I'm sorry for what happened with us?"</p><p>"No. I don't think so." She didn't sound angry or hurt, just tired.</p><p>"Thought so. I'm sorry, Pep. I made some bad calls and screwed up. I know that doesn't fix it. But - maybe it's something." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and picked up his jacket. "I already tucked her in twice. Tell her I'll see her this weekend."</p><p>"Sure. Tony, are you okay?"</p><p>"I - maybe. See ya." He left and decided to drive around for a while. Think. Clear his head. He needed to do what Morgan had said – tell his friend he missed him. But how?</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>September 2025</strong>
</p><p>"Tony, here's your itinerary."</p><p>"Are you really giving me paper like I'll even keep track of it?" He walked away from her toward his desk. When Pepper wanted to meet for business stuff, she made him come to the office he rarely used.</p><p>Pepper scowled as she followed. "No, the paper is for your desk you never see. You have a digital copy I sent to FRIDAY."</p><p>"I see my desk. It's right there." He scowled back as he turned to look at her while he walked. "And why would you add paper to the pile of mail I have no intention of looking at?"</p><p>"I - maybe I'd hoped you'd hired a new assistant to handle all of the stuff you don't want to do."</p><p>He stopped at the desk, turning to point at her. "You mean your old job? I have FRIDAY."</p><p>Pepper rolled her eyes. "Hire an assistant. You need one." She set the itinerary on the desk.</p><p>"Yeah. Maybe. I'm taking an extra day in Boston. Got some things I want to see before I come back. Tell Morgan we're still on for dinner though."</p><p>Pepper blinked at him, maybe thrown by the rapid-fire subject change. "Uh - of course, Tony. Is everything okay?"</p><p>"Great," he said. Things were fine. He was fine. Except for one thing - he missed Peter. That's why he was taking an extra day. He was going to skip over to MIT to surprise Peter. It wouldn't be weird. It was Morgan's idea after all.</p><p>"All right. You need anything from me before I go back to work?"</p><p>"Just - tell Morgan I love her and I'll see her later this week." He sat in his chair and shoved the stack of mail to one side.</p><p>"Sure. Bye, Tony."</p><p>He gave a brief wave and turned to his computer, his brain suddenly firing with a dozen ideas for things he'd been wanting to do. He started making notes and sketching out designs. Once he finished his brain dump, he'd take a look at what he was supposed to do in Boston.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>This was possibly the first time he was excited for a business trip in years. He didn't care much about the business part - that was mostly formality. Necessary, but still formality. The better part was the detour to MIT.</p><p>He didn't have much of a plan. Surprise Peter, have lunch, talk. That was a plan, right? Peter would be cool with it, yeah? If he wasn't… shortest visit ever and he wouldn't do it again.</p><p>In the meantime, he just needed to put the finishing touches on his gift for Peter, then he'd be all set. It was less gift really than work-related equipment, but it was still just for Peter.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>He'd had to laugh to himself at Peter's reaction. It was pretty much exactly what he'd expected. Peter hadn't wanted to accept the phone; the guy had a thing about money feeling like an obligation. Tony just wanted to make sure the people he cared about were protected and safe. It cost money, but he had more than enough.</p><p>Peter did finally accept the phone. <em>Good.</em> Tony was happy and Peter had a phone that didn't have a broken screen and misaligned insides. To be fair, he was sure Peter would fix the old one.</p><p>Their walk around the city had been great. Even though it had been years, Tony still remembered his old haunts. Mostly, he remembered the places he and Rhodey would hang out or grab dinner from. He remembered <em>some</em> of the places they would get drunk in. Yes, at fifteen, Tony had been drinking, and going to parties, and more. Mostly, he had been trying to fit in. Partly, he had been trying to show off.</p><p>Peter had hugged him before he left. He'd liked that feeling. And he was really glad he'd decided to visit. It eased some of that ache from missing Peter so much. This had been good. He'd be okay for a while now, right? Right?</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>February - March 2026</strong>
</p><p>No. Tony wasn’t okay, not for nearly as long as he'd intended. He wanted to go back the next weekend. He didn't, of course, but he wanted to. Making himself not come up with any excuse to visit Cambridge was a lot harder than he'd thought it would be. But, he managed to stall himself for a couple months the first time. Second time too, but that was more of a struggle - even when Peter came home for winter break in the middle. Or maybe because of that. The third time, he managed by being busy with family and Stark Industries business.</p><p>By spring break, he was sure Peter had picked up on why he was visiting. But Peter never said anything; he just spent time with Tony and was excited about all of his tech news and Avengers stories.</p><p>Then there was the trip when he found out Peter might have a boyfriend. Was he <em>jealous</em>? That was ridiculous, right? He couldn't be. He'd told Peter they couldn't do the relationship thing. That had been the right choice.</p><p>None of that made it easier. Peter was important to him. And he was struggling with himself about what that meant.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>"I'm on my way back," Tony said into the phone through the interface with FRIDAY. "Be there in about three hours."</p><p>"Three…? Tony, where are you?" Rhodey asked.</p><p>"Swung by MIT after that meeting in Boston. You need something?"</p><p>"What are you doing at MIT?"</p><p>"Do we have a date?"</p><p>"Fury's looking for you."</p><p>"What does he want?"</p><p>"The usual. Ask questions, give no answers."</p><p>Tony accelerated around an SUV. "He can wait. Got a business thing. You good? Need a tune up?"</p><p>"All good. I think I've been invited to the latest ice cream party tomorrow though."</p><p>A laugh. "If she asked you, you can come along."</p><p>He and Rhodey finished their conversation and hung up. Tony leaned back in the seat and let the car do its thing. He had FRIDAY take over the driving when he felt his mind drifting.</p><p>Was he really upset about Peter having a couple dates? This wasn't even the first time he'd heard about Peter's dates. He knew Peter had gone to prom with MJ. And that he'd been seeing someone for a few weeks the previous semester.</p><p>Why the hell did he even care? He'd been the one to tell Peter they couldn't get involved. He pinched his nose and shook his head.</p><p>He just needed to get back home, back to his robots, back to Rhodey and Cap and familiar surroundings. He'd bypass Fury. Despite handing over the company to Pepper, his name was still on it, so there were things he needed to attend to from time-to-time.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Fury hadn't liked that Tony had avoided his meeting. At least, that's what Rhodey told him over ice cream with Morgan. She was happily stirring her flavors together with the crumbled cookies while Tony pretended to be satisfied with his brownie.</p><p>"How urgent was it?" Tony asked.</p><p>Rhodey shook his head. "It wasn't. He just likes trying to tell you what to do."</p><p>Tony smirked. "He can keep trying then. You covered it?"</p><p>Rhodey nodded. Then he pointed to Tony's brownie. "This dairy thing stuck, huh?"</p><p>Tony shrugged back. "Used to it now. And I still sometimes grab a slice."</p><p>"Can't pass that up."</p><p>Morgan looked up from her ice cream and smiled brightly. "This is good. Want to try?" She held her nearly dripping spoon up for Rhodey. He laughed and redirected the utensil with a 'maybe later'. And Morgan went back to eating her concoction.</p><p>"What was going on at MIT?" Rhodey asked.</p><p>"Nothing. I stopped by to see how Parker's doing on my way back from Boston," Tony answered, taking a sip from his water bottle as he glanced out the door to avoid letting Rhodey read his face.</p><p>"How's he holding up?"</p><p>"Doing great." Tony capped the bottle. "Breezing through the math and chemistry. He'll probably have his MS by Christmas."</p><p>Rhodey was frowning. "Tony, are you okay?"</p><p>"Perfect," he said and leaned back in his chair, trying to look casual and relaxed. He didn't want to talk about his visit with Peter. Or Peter's possible boyfriend. Or his feelings about Peter possibly having a boyfriend.</p><p>"Do we need to talk?" Rhodey asked, a little bit of concern in his voice.</p><p>"What? No," Tony answered. Maybe too quickly. "All good. Morgan, honey, you are getting ice cream all over your chin," he said, completely redirecting focus and using a napkin to clean his daughter's face.</p><p>Rhodey didn't dig any further, which Tony appreciated. He had enough going on just working through the mess in his head. All of which he had pushed aside to finish the ice cream party with Morgan. All of his attention was hers for the rest of their time out.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>May - June 2026</strong>
</p><p>Tony was sitting on his couch several weeks later, idly tinkering with a piece of his armor while the TV ran in the background. Some <em>Star Wars</em>-related ad came on and caught his attention. The ad didn't matter. That wasn't his focus. A memory was.</p><p>He glanced to the tidy workstation in the corner, still adorned with scattered action figures. He lowered the part to his lap and picked up his phone. <em>when are classes out?</em></p><p>[exams are next week. summer classes start up just after that. y?]</p><p><em>didn't want to stop by during exam week.</em> 'Bullshit, Stark. You just don't want to admit you give a shit.'</p><p>[next weekend is good. and the following week.]</p><p>
  <em>nice. thanks. I'll check my schedule. good luck.</em>
</p><p>[thanks!]</p><p>Next weekend. Eight days. Sure. He could do that. Nothing to it.</p><p>Right.</p><p>Who the fuck was he kidding?</p><p>He set the part he'd been messing with on one of the worktables, then activated his armor as he walked toward the exit hatch. He took off into the air, flight plan aimed for MIT.</p><p>Driving was too slow.</p><p>He landed in front of Peter's building and let the armor roll up and fold away as he went inside. He climbed the stairs to Peter's floor and knocked on the door. Then he stood back to wait.</p><p>There was the sound of someone shuffling around inside the room. Tony winced at his stupid impulse to do this. What if Peter's roommate was here? What if Peter wasn't? These things wouldn't necessarily bother <em>him</em> but they would bother Peter.</p><p>The door lock disengaged and Tony stood up straight, schooling his features into their usual cool confidence. If it wasn't Peter on the other side of the door, he was going to lose it.</p><p>Once the door opened, Tony took the first second to verify it was, in fact, Peter. Then he stalked into the room, pushing Peter along with him until he found the first available vertical surface. He pressed Peter against the wall and dipped his head to capture the young man's mouth with his own. Heart pounding in his ears, palms sweaty and twitchy, he got his hands up to rest at the sides of Peter's face.</p><p>When Peter relaxed and kissed him back, it was all he could do not to throw the young man down on the bed. Tony moved his hands over Peter's body, to his hips, and lifted him from the floor, keeping him braced against the wall.</p><p>Peter folded his powerful legs around Tony's hips. That made him growl deep in his chest. He felt his entire body react to every movement Peter made against him. His cock twitched in his pants and he was certain Peter had felt it. Bracing a hand against the wall behind Peter, he leaned into the kiss, leaned into Peter. Peter, meanwhile, gripped Tony's face and held him against his mouth.</p><p>That wasn't just nice. It was amazing. He'd had to push Peter away before, but he hadn't liked it. This he liked a lot. By the warm, pleased little sounds he was hearing, so did Peter.</p><p>Slowly, Peter drew out of the kiss and rested his forehead against Tony's. "Wow," Peter breathed, tongue passing over his lips. "Um - wow, Tony."</p><p>"Mmmhmm," Tony hummed. He pressed another quick kiss to Peter's mouth.</p><p>"How - how long have you  - um - been wanting to - to do that?"</p><p>A slow grin spread across Tony's lips. "Longer than I'd like to admit."</p><p>Peter laughed. He was breathing a little heavily and Tony loved that. Part of him still really wanted to toss Peter down on the bed. Another part of him was stuck being something akin to a mature adult.</p><p>"This is okay, right?" Tony asked with a sudden ping of conscience.</p><p>Nodding, Peter pressed his lips together. "Very okay. Unexpected, but okay." Then Peter kissed him again.</p><p>"Good," he muttered and let Peter kiss him. He couldn't get enough.</p><p>Peter drew back, tongue flicking out to taste Tony's mouth. "So, um, we should probably talk, huh?"</p><p>Tony shook his head. "Don't have to. We can just do this."</p><p>The smile Peter gave him warmed his soul. And he still had no idea how Peter did that. Peter licked his lips again and said, "No, we need to talk about stuff before we do anything else."</p><p>In that vein of being the mature adult he was supposed to be, Tony conceded Peter's point, and let him down from the wall. "Okay. Let's talk."</p><p>Peter brushed a hand over his mouth and straightened his clothes a little. He tugged out the desk chair for Tony to sit, then plopped himself on the end of his bed. Tony couldn't help noticing that Peter had to shift a bit to get comfortable. That was promising.</p><p>"First," Peter began, "I need to know if you're still sober. I know you put it all away before, but this doesn't work if you go back to it as a crutch."</p><p>Tony shook his head. "Still put away. The occasional drink at a party, but that's all. Green smoothies - well, sometimes they're pink… red maybe?"</p><p>"Tony -"</p><p>He arched an eyebrow. "Just at parties," he repeated. He pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered to himself, "Never should've started again."</p><p>"Probably not."</p><p>When he looked up at Peter again, he was frowning. "Do you ever pretend to not hear stuff?"</p><p>The most wicked grin he had ever seen on Peter Parker's face bent the guy's lips and it was all he could do to stay in the chair. "Of course," Peter answered.</p><p>That was a terrifying response. He could have fun with that.</p><p>He took a breath. "So, moving on. What else you wanna talk about?"</p><p>"How serious is this?" Peter asked, motioning between the two of them. "How serious are you? Is this just going to be a fling, or are you interested in something more?"</p><p>Tony's brows bent. "It is scary how mature you are already."</p><p>Peter shrugged. "Funny how no one thought that when I was fifteen." He made a face. "Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be told you can't do things because you're too young, but still be expected to make decisions and act like an adult all the time too?"</p><p>Tony could see the beginnings of a rambling rant starting and held up a hand. "You can bitch at me about that later all you want," he said with a smile that almost felt like more of a wince. "How serious do you want this to be? Because, I can go either way." He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "I'm leaving this one to you because you're still in that phase where experimentation is a thing. And I don't want to be the one who locked you into something before you were ready."</p><p>"Um," Peter looked nervous, but Tony waited him out. "I really like you. Have for a long time." He saw Peter's ears turn pink. "So, I don't think casual would work for me. Is - is that okay?"</p><p>Tony nodded. "Yeah. It's okay."</p><p>"Awesome!" And he watched Peter slide off the bed, step toward him, then lower himself to Tony's lap with his hands on Tony's shoulders. "Now it's my turn to kiss you."</p><p>"It is?"</p><p>Peter nodded. Then he lowered his head to press his mouth to Tony's. No objection at all. Tony slid his arms around Peter's back and pulled him closer, settling into the soft warmth of Peter's kiss.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>June - July 2026</strong>
</p><p>Peter'd finished a call with Bruce about his arm - turned out, he'd just have to live with the spasms until they went away. It was apparently some minor nerve damage that either his spider powers couldn't heal or were just taking longer than everything else. Fine. He'd manage. It sucked, but he'd deal with it.</p><p>Then he got a call from Tony. "Hey - we're still on for this weekend, right?"</p><p>"Of course!" They were supposed to go check out a new robot one of Peter's professors was working on, then have dinner at a cozy little place Peter had found a couple weeks ago.</p><p>"Great. See ya."</p><p>If he hadn't known how busy Tony was with some new R&amp;D at Stark Industries, Peter would've been annoyed at such a short conversation. But, he'd see Tony on the weekend and make up for it.</p><p>Or, he was <em>supposed</em> to see Tony on the weekend.</p><p>The call came in late Friday night and Tony looked exhausted and was apologetic. Something had come up that needed Tony's immediate attention and he couldn't get away. Peter was sure it wasn't Stark stuff this time. It sounded more like Avengers work, but he didn't dig. He'd get details on it later. For now, he'd focus on getting way ahead on some work for his summer classes so he'd be free the next time Tony dropped in.</p><p>"Be safe. Let me know how it goes."</p><p>"Sure thing. And stop taking summer classes, you over-achieving weirdo," Tony told him. Then he hung up.</p><p>Peter grinned at his phone. Stop taking classes. Right. Peter knew that Tony already knew that wasn't going to happen.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Summer classes finished up. Tony had only been able to come by one weekend, rather than the four or five he'd initially planned. Peter wasn't upset; it happened. And he knew Tony wasn't making excuses. All those months when Tony had been making up reasons to not talk to him, Peter could tell the difference between Tony's shitty excuses and legitimate reasons.</p><p>The fall semester started and Peter was pretty busy, but no more than other semesters. He got most of his reading done early and even completed several assignments that weren't due until later in the year. His roommate never did understand why Peter busted his ass early. One reason, Peter could explain easily - he wanted extra free time and to be available for Tony's sporadic visits. The other reason was a little more complicated – nothing like having a secret identity to make lying to your friends a habit.</p><p>Spider-Man didn't make a lot of appearances in Cambridge and Boston, because that would be way too obvious, but once Peter could move around like he used to, he took every opportunity he could find to get out and swing around the city. It was still one of his favorite things to do. And, he'd stop a crime here and there too as needed.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>December 2026</strong>
</p><p>Peter tucked the phone between his shoulder and ear while he was digging out his clothes for the day. "Yes, I'll be back in New York for Christmas. I'm spending the day with Aunt May, but you can come over if you want."</p><p>"Mmmm - maybe. Morgan's reserved a lot of Christmas day for presents and more presents and maybe dinner. But mostly presents."</p><p>Peter rolled his eyes and tugged on his jeans. "That's because you've set a precedent. You get her piles of presents every year, so she thinks that's normal."</p><p>"It's not normal?"</p><p>"Not for the non-billionaire population, no."</p><p>"I got you presents too."</p><p>"Smooth with the subject change there. I told you not to."</p><p>"And I ignored you. It's like you don't even know me. By the way, if you want to live off campus next year - totally doable."</p><p>Peter rolled his eyes again. What was he going to do with Tony? "Please stop. It makes me feel weird when you give me money. Like I have to pay it back somehow."</p><p>"You will. When you work at Stark and make amazing world-changing things."</p><p>"Tony-"</p><p>"Pete, I have plenty and I like to share."</p><p>He sat down on his bed. "I still haven't spent all the money you gave me for my birthday <em>last</em> year." Or the year before that, honestly. Tony had given him what he'd thought was a gift card, but turned out it was a debit card linked to a special account Tony had set up. Peter was afraid to ever check the balance - he didn't want to know, certain the amount would be staggering. He knew it was a lot though, since Peter had paid May's rent at least twice with it. And bought the new laptop he needed for school with it; he'd done all he could to boost the performance on his old one, but the processor just couldn't handle any more.</p><p>"I know. I'm disappointed. And proud. You haven't used any of it for booze. Are you sure you're getting the full college experience?"</p><p>"I think I'm doing fine. Do you <em>want</em> me to get drunk?"</p><p>"I'm obligated to say 'absolutely not' in answer to that question."</p><p>Peter laughed. "Whatever. But I have to go to class. Last one of the semester. And I'm done with exams on Tuesday."</p><p>"Great. I'll come pick you up. Think about where you want to go for end of the semester dinner."</p><p>"Uh, okay. Somewhere in Cambridge or back in New York?"</p><p>"Somewhere anywhere you want. Don't limit yourself to the U.S."</p><p>"Oh my god, you're the worst. Gotta go."</p><p>"Think about it."</p><p>"Bye, Tony." He hung up and tucked his phone in his pocket. Peter ducked into his t-shirt, slid into his warm flannel, and tugged on his sneakers. He grabbed his coat and backpack on the way out the door. He'd make a quick stop for a portable breakfast before class.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Maybe he was a little excited when Tuesday rolled around. His roommate kept giving him weird looks. "What?" Peter asked.</p><p>"I'm guessing Daddy Warbucks is picking you up?" Marcus said.</p><p>Peter pressed his lips together. "Please stop calling him that," he responded with a sigh.</p><p>Marcus grinned big and bright. "Fine. What should I call him?"</p><p>"Uh - 'Tony'?"</p><p>"That's no fun." He dropped onto his bed and popped open the soda he'd snagged from the fridge. "Is he really your boyfriend?"</p><p>Peter shrugged. "Kinda haven't put a name to it, really?"</p><p>"Does he take you on dates?"</p><p>This time Peter nodded. "He does."</p><p>"Then sounds like he's your boyfriend." Marcus sipped his soda.</p><p>"Guess so," Peter concurred and zipped his bag shut. "And he'll be here in about five minutes. He's my ride to New York."</p><p>"Cool. Have a good time. Happy holidays and all that."</p><p>"You too. When do you go home?"</p><p>"End of the week. After finals."</p><p>"Fun," Peter said and Marcus smirked.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>"So, where are we going for dinner?" Tony asked as he sped toward the airport.</p><p>"Um," Peter began, "I dunno. I'm sorry, I've been busy and couldn't really spare the time to pick something." He felt bad, because Tony had told him to choose. And he'd wanted to - after he'd calmed down about the money part - but he'd had papers and exams and he hadn't gotten the chance.</p><p>Tony glanced at him. "Hey, don't worry about it. What are you in the mood for?"</p><p>"Anything that I can't get on campus on my own."</p><p>"I have an idea." Tony pulled the car up to his private plane and got out. He waved for Peter to come along.</p><p>Peter grabbed his bag and got out of the car. "What idea?" he asked.</p><p>"How do you feel about steak and lobster?"</p><p>Peter's eyes went wide. "At the same time?" He watched Tony smile at him. "I've never had lobster."</p><p>"Time to try something new." Tony ushered him onto the plane. "We'll go to Maine."</p><p>Peter dropped his bag and flopped into a seat. "Maine?"</p><p>"Sure. They have lobster there."</p><p>"You know what, I'm just gonna go with it."</p><p>"Good," Tony said, reaching for Peter's hand. "Now, come here." He tugged Peter into his lap and drew him down for a kiss.</p><p>Peter sighed happily and slid his arms around Tony's neck. He'd missed Tony these last few weeks. More than that, he'd missed having uninterrupted time with him. But now, he'd have the man's mostly undivided attention for a few hours.</p><p>He probably should have moved back to his seat for take-off, but just this once, he decided to live dangerously and stayed in Tony's lap. Tony was fastened in and Peter could stick to the bulkhead if necessary. When he pulled back from the kiss for a few seconds, Tony was grinning at him. Then Peter was kissing him again. He'd had plans to talk to Tony about some ideas he'd had, but he'd really rather do this right now.</p><p>By the time the plane landed, they'd stopped making out and had both gotten dressed for a nice dinner. It was the kind of dinner where Peter was sure he'd forget which fork to use and drop his napkin or something else hugely embarrassing.</p><p>Tony put a hand on his back. "Relax, Pete. You'll be great."</p><p>He did. And he was. Dinner was excellent and delicious and fun. It didn't feel stuffy like he thought it might. And Tony listened to all of his stories from campus, then told several of his own about the team back home.</p><p>As they were settling in on the plane to fly back to New York, Peter said, "This was really nice. Thank you."</p><p>"You're welcome. Now put on your seatbelt."</p><p>He did, but made sure he was sitting close enough to rest his head on Tony's shoulder. Tony tucked his fingers beneath Peter's hand and wiggled them until Peter took the hint and let their fingers fold together. For a while, Peter watched Tony brush his thumb over one of the lingering scars on Peter's hand. He only stopped watching when his eyes were too heavy to stay open any longer.</p><p>He was nudged awake as the plane was beginning landing preparations. He blinked and rubbed his eyes. "Sorry I slept the whole flight."</p><p>"Why? I did too."</p><p>"Liar."</p><p>"Truth. Woke up a few minutes ago."</p><p>Peter looked at Tony. He didn't look sleepy, but that didn't mean much. Tony could be covered in motor oil and alien slime and still look like a cover model. It was kind of disgusting. But Peter loved it anyway.</p><p>"We'll be on the ground soon. Is May expecting you?"</p><p>"Not until Saturday, so we're good until then. I'll give her a call in the morning."</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*****</p>
</div><p>Tony pulled the car into the garage and drew to a stop. Peter hopped out on his side, his little nap on the plane giving him an energy boost. He and Tony made their way to the elevator.</p><p>"Where'd you wanna go?" Tony asked. "I think some of the team is around today still."</p><p>"I - I'm not really tired, but I kind of want to go to bed."</p><p>Tony nodded and took them up to his penthouse in the compound. Peter had been in there before, but this time it felt different. Warmer.</p><p>Peter could feel his nerves jangling. He took a deep breath and set his bag down. When he turned around to find Tony, the man was leaning against the wall, casual and - sexy. They'd changed back into their less formal clothing on the plane and Peter was having a very hard time not admiring the way Tony's t-shirt and jeans draped over his body. He smiled softly as he crossed to where Tony was standing. Slowly, he slid his hands to Tony's shoulders and leaned in to kiss him.</p><p>"You sure?" Tony asked.</p><p>Peter nodded. He kissed Tony again. "I want to see you."</p><p>Tony's grin was wicked and delicious. "Doable." Then he stripped out of his shirt, tugging it over his head. Not a lick of shame.</p><p>"Oh my god," Peter mock-groaned. He wasn't as lacking in shame as Tony. But he was very appreciative of the suddenly revealed skin. Fingers brushed gently over Tony's chest and eyes followed. He tipped his head to kiss Tony again, warm and slow.</p><p>A soft moan rolled from Tony's chest. "Your turn," he said and dipped his fingers beneath Peter's shirt. Tony tugged it over Peter's head, then dropped it to the floor. He just as casually unfastened his own jeans and let those fall too.</p><p>Peter took a step back in order to watch. He'd said he wanted to see Tony. So, he was going to look. And enjoy.</p><p>His tongue passed over his lips as he watched Tony hook his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear and push those over his hips too. They fell to the floor, joining Tony's pants, but Peter wasn't following the clothes. He was following the lines of Tony's body.</p><p>Where Peter knew he was all lean, ropey muscle thanks to a helpful little arachnid, Tony was work-toned and battle-scarred from all of his time as Iron Man. Peter's tongue traced his lips again, then his teeth sank gently into the bottom lip as he continued to study the naked man in front of him.</p><p>"Pete? You still with me?" Tony asked softly.</p><p>He nodded slowly, still looking. It was all so fascinating. He'd had his own mental images of Tony's body and was now making comparisons. All in all, he wasn't far off and the real thing was so much better than any photos he'd seen.</p><p>Closing the short distance between them, he lifted Tony's right arm in one hand and traced the scars above his wrist with the other. It was the hand Tony had touched Peter with to channel the energy from the Infinity Stones. Peter's fingers followed the lines all the way to Tony's shoulder where the scars dipped across his back. "You are so beautiful," Peter said quietly, almost reverently.</p><p>For the first time since they'd met, he saw Tony blush. Tony's skin felt flushed and warm beneath his hands. And there was no snappy, witty come-back. Just Tony folding his arms around Peter, holding him to his chest. He liked that. They stood like that for a long time. Quiet. Soft. Until Tony broke the silence, "Sit down on the bed for me?"</p><p>Peter nodded and stepped back. He nudged off his shoes, then crossed to the bed. He sat on the end and felt his stomach flutter a little. Watching Tony move was mesmerizing - he had this confident grace to him that Peter wished he could emulate at best. Tony knelt on the floor in front of him and smoothed his hands over Peter's thighs.</p><p>Tony's hands were warm as they brushed over the skin of Peter's stomach. He looked down to watch Tony unfasten his jeans and he lifted his hips to let Tony work them down and off. Peter felt a little shiver skate up his legs when Tony touched him again.</p><p>"We still good?" Tony asked, looking up at him.</p><p>Another nod. "Yes," he answered, his voice solid and strong which made him feel really good. He didn't always feel like he had confidence around people. But Tony was different. He always felt different with Tony. Like he really could do anything. Even scary things. He reached to brush a hand through Tony's hair. "Very good."</p><p>Tony grinned at him and that made his heart flutter. Then Tony leaned down to press hot, wet kisses to Peter's right thigh. That felt amazing on its own, but when Tony added his hands rubbing over Peter's chest and back, it elevated from amazing to awesome. It was one of the best parts of his heightened senses.</p><p>He sighed softly and curled his fingers lightly against Tony's scalp. As Tony got closer to the fading scars on Peter's belly, he felt his guts tighten a little. What would that feel like? Would Tony hate it and stop? He didn't know why that bothered him, but he closed his eyes and held his breath.</p><p>That had him focused more on the sensation of Tony's mouth. He felt the man's warm, wet tongue trace over the lines and ridges of the scarring at his left hip. Tony didn't concentrate his attention there, but he also didn't rush past it either. He gave those areas the same attention he'd given Peter's other side.</p><p>Tony sucked a wet kiss off Peter's knee, then said, "They're a part of you, Pete." Another kiss to the vaguely finger-shaped scars on his thigh. "They don't scare me. I don't hate them. They're a mark of your bravery." He kissed Peter's thigh again.</p><p>Peter blinked his eyes open, soft tears clinging to his lashes. He'd thought the same thing himself, but he'd also had moments where he'd hated his scars. "They haven't always felt that way."</p><p>"I know," Tony said and brushed a thumb gently beneath Peter's eye. "But they should."</p><p>Peter's chest was tight, a weird mix of feelings swirling around inside. He leaned down to kiss Tony as he held back some of the overflowing emotion. That wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting to have to Tony seeing all of his scars. But it made him feel less self-conscious about them.</p><p>Tony drew back slowly. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for."</p><p>"I know," he said softly. "You can keep going. I'm all yours."</p><p>"Damn right you are." Tony leaned in to press a kiss to Peter's chest. He nudged his shorts. "You okay to lose these now?"</p><p>Peter nodded again. "Yup. Go ahead." He lifted his hips to help. He thought he'd be a lot more nervous about being naked with Tony, but this was making him feel really good. Tony was paying attention to everything - every inch of Peter's skin that he could comfortably reach. It made him feel warm and tingly like the first time he'd been able to swing around the city on his homemade webs. It was a rush.</p><p>Tony nudged Peter's knees farther apart after tossing his shorts out of the way. Peter focused on the roughness of Tony's hands across his skin. He'd been half-hard since they'd finished dinner. He'd gotten harder as Tony kissed him. Now that he was fully exposed, he was so hard it was almost painful.</p><p>His teeth dug into his bottom lip to stave off the sounds trying to escape. It didn't help at all when Tony looked up at him with his dark, almost adoring eyes. Peter stifled a whimper.</p><p>"You can make noise, Pete." Tony said and flicked his tongue out to just barely brush Peter's cock.</p><p>"Tease," Peter hissed. The muscles in his legs tensed for a moment. With a slow breath, he made himself relax. He watched Tony's easy movements, watched Tony glance up at him briefly before he dipped his head to lick slowly along Peter's length.</p><p>Peter whined. His fingers tightened in Tony's hair. Tony grinned up at him, then took Peter's cock all the way into his mouth.</p><p>"Oh wow," Peter gasped, his hips lifting off the bed slightly.</p><p>It didn't seem to bother Tony at all. He kept his position and teased Peter with his lips and tongue. It felt so good. Tony felt so good. Peter didn't want him to stop.</p><p>He moaned softly, hips still rocking against Tony's mouth. He focused as much as he could so he didn't move too fast or too hard. "Tony -" he whimpered, sure he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer.</p><p>Then Tony drew back, letting Peter's cock slip from his mouth. Peter let out the most disappointed whine. "Not done yet," Tony whispered and kissed Peter's thigh. "Scoot back," he said, stretching up to kiss Peter's mouth.</p><p>Peter moved back on the bed, half on autopilot, his eyes on Tony the whole time. Tony moved with him, crawling up over him, their skin barely touching at first. Peter dragged the man down to him, drawing him into a kiss, feeling Tony's skin against his fully for the first time and luxuriating in it.</p><p>Tony stretched out over Peter. He could feel the hardness of Tony's erection against his leg and released a soft sigh as he kissed Tony again. He wanted this. So much. A part of him felt that he almost <em>needed</em> this. Smoothly, he drew one leg up to fold across Tony's hip.</p><p>"Mmm, nice," Tony rumbled against his jaw.</p><p>Peter's eyelids fluttered as Tony dragged his bearded chin across Peter's sensitive skin. "Please," he whispered.</p><p>This was new for him. He hadn't slept with a guy before. Dated, made out, a little more, sure, but they hadn't gotten to the naked part. Peter had always been too worried about his scars. And people's reactions to them.</p><p>He stroked his fingertips down Tony's arm, tracing scars and muscles, relishing the weight of Tony's body on his. He'd thought he was going to be really nervous, but something about the way Tony approached everything made him feel at ease. Even when Tony slid a pair of lubricated fingers slowly inside him. It was torturous pleasure and all he wanted was more.</p><p>"Patience. We'll get there," Tony whispered, brushing his beard against Peter's throat.</p><p>Peter whined softly, certain Tony planned to tease him for hours. Some other time, he might really enjoy that, but right now, he just wanted to feel Tony inside him.</p><p>It wasn't much longer before Tony was settling himself between Peter's legs. "How did you want to do this?" Tony asked.</p><p>"I want to see you."</p><p>Tony nodded. "Have you done this before?"</p><p>Peter shook his head gently. "Not with another guy, no."</p><p>"It's okay," Tony whispered against his lips. "Any time you need to stop, just tell me." Then he sat back again, reaching for a condom.</p><p>"Wait," Peter pressed his fingers against Tony's forearm, "are you okay doing this without a condom?" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I mean, I usually wouldn't ask that, but I can't get sick and - and I -" his voice dropped and he wasn't really sure what else he'd wanted to say.</p><p>Tony leaned down to kiss him again. "Normally, I'd still say 'no'. But for you, this time, I can make an exception." Another kiss. "I know you like feeling things - especially new ones."</p><p>Peter blushed and felt his ears heat. "I mean - if you're not comfortable -"</p><p>"Shh. I'm comfortable." He tossed the condom back to the table, but kept the lube. He used a generous amount to coat his cock before lining up with Peter's body.</p><p>Peter watched every movement Tony made. He made sure to relax his muscles the same as he had when practicing with his own fingers during lonely nights when all he could think about was what it would feel like to have Tony inside him. This was it. He was about to find out.</p><p>The second Tony's cock breached his hole, Peter felt the warm moan of pleasure bubble out of his chest. It felt better than he ever imagined. One hand clenched at Tony's biceps, the other folded against his neck to draw him down for a kiss that lasted until he couldn't breathe. "Ohmygod," he babbled, "please - please - just - more, Tony."</p><p>Tony grinned wicked and bright. Then he pressed himself in further. Then a little more. Peter let out soft little moans each time until Tony was fully seated inside him. Peter folded his flexible, strong legs around Tony's hips as though he never intended to let him go.</p><p>"Patience. Get a feel for it," Tony whispered against Peter's mouth between kisses as he brushed hair from Peter's forehead.</p><p>He nodded and let out another soft sound. The feel of Tony's body against his, of Tony's warm kisses to his mouth, of Tony's hard cock inside him, was everything he'd ever wanted. His tongue passed over his lips, then he pressed his mouth to Tony's again.</p><p>Tony smiled into the kiss, then asked, "Ready?" Once Peter nodded that he was, Tony began to move against him - slow and easy.</p><p>Peter breathed against Tony's ear, brushed his lips against his neck, traced his fingers over the raised scars on his back and shoulders. They'd hardly started and he already couldn't get enough. Tony trailed his fingers down Peter's left leg, then nudged gently to get Peter to drape that leg over his shoulder. It opened Peter up for Tony to get better leverage, but also let Tony smooth his fingers over the scar patterns on Peter's leg. That was something Peter never thought he'd actually enjoy - but he loved Tony's hands on him.</p><p>He pushed his fingers through Tony's hair and tugged him into a kiss. His mind was doing its usual thing of dividing focus to as many things as possible - the taste of Tony's mouth, the softness of his hair, the feel of Tony pressing into him over and over in a delicious series of movements making him feel incredible. The sounds he made were soft, little whimpers of pleasure. If he listened, he could hear similar sounds from Tony too.</p><p>Tony dipped his head, lips ghosting Peter's throat. He could feel Tony's beard scratch his skin. "Yes," he breathed, and rocked his hips to brush his cock against Tony, trying to get himself off.</p><p>"Go ahead," Tony whispered. He kissed Peter's ear. His body still moving at that smooth, even pace.</p><p>Peter moved again, gasping through his orgasm, coming almost more from Tony's voice than the friction.</p><p>He felt Tony smile softly in the moments before he pushed in one last time as he came, spilling inside Peter. He let Peter's leg down and leaned in to kiss him softly. Then dropped his head to Peter's shoulder, breathing hard.</p><p>"Wow," Peter panted, smiling. "That was - that was great."</p><p>Tony kissed his shoulder and rumbled something that was affirmative in nature. Agreeing with him, obviously. Then they both drifted off to sleep.</p><p>When they woke up from their nap, they spent time just talking - about whatever. Anything. Nothing. Just talking.</p><p>"Are you worried about what people are going to think?" Peter asked. It had been on his mind for a while, but until recently, he wasn't sure how serious their relationship was, so hadn't wanted to throw the monkey wrench in if it wasn't going to be relevant.</p><p>"I never have been before," he said. Before Peter could protest, Tony continued, "But, this is a little different. I have a lot of experience dealing with bullshit and just ignoring whatever I didn't want to deal with. We don't have to tell anyone anything if you don't want."</p><p>"I - I mean, I'll have to tell May eventually. But can we just, I don't know, keep it under wraps for a little while? See if it's gonna work out like we want?" Peter asked, head leaned against Tony's shoulder.</p><p>"I am happy to be your dirty little secret for as long as you want," Tony teased.</p><p>Peter rolled over, draping himself against Tony's chest. "Good, because two things - one, I don't want to share. And two, I found a lot of really dirty things on the internet I want to do with you."</p><p>"Bring it on, kid." Tony raised his hands and waved his fingers encouragingly.</p><p>"Not a kid," he grumped and leaned down to kiss Tony warmly.</p><p>Peter had come a long way since that terrifying moment on the battlefield against Thanos. Things weren't perfect, but he had a nice group of people to support him. He also, now, had Tony. And Tony had him too.</p>
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